Idiots Meet Demigods

Vivian Noparents

Not sure how legal this is.

This one guy ruined my life. I don't even know his name!

I remember one day a little boy my age knocking on our door and Mom opening it. He started rambling about how his stepdad was bad and killed his mom and how he was scared. Mom welcomed him and he moved in with us.

I didn't like it. I voiced my opinion to mom. She was unhappy. She told me if I was so selfish than I could take care of him. 

Dad had messed up on my birth certificate and put a different year. So according to that I was 18, despite being 12. 

She bought me a house. I was supposed to pay bills and live on my own from now on. With HIM.

He got his own room so I didn't have to see him. Even less so when he locked himself inside and refused to come out unless it was middle of the night.

I was 16 now and going to high school. I don't remember the boy's name or what he looked like but I'm pretty sure he was ugly. Besides, I was focused on more pressing matters. I had gotten an adorable little puppy. She had white fur and was lovable and attention grabbing. I was going to name her Sugar, when she started going to What's-His-Face's room. 

After that she would only answer to Blue. 

Another matter: major hottie Percy Jackson. I wanted to ask him out, but everyone knows that you can't just walk up to a guy and say, "Yo, I like-like you." That's not how it works. You have to be strategic. 

Then again...

No. I must be ladylike about this.

I brushed my hand against his "accidentally". He didn't notice. I did the 'Perfume Walk', where I spritzed some perfume on me then walked past him.

He didn't notice. Gah! Sometimes boys were so irritating! But...cute.

At lunch, I saw him look at me.

I smiled. Later I found out I had spinach in my teeth.

I was so tired of this! Fuck being ladylike!

I approached him after science, "Hey, um, Andy's after school?"

"Oh! Sorry, um." He glanced at his watch and I realized I was keeping him from class. "Er, girlfriend, you not type, gotta go, bye!"

I rolled my eyes. He was obviously so rushed he didn't know who was talking to him.

[~<^>~]

I wanted Blue to come out of What's—his—face's room. 

As I got up there Blue came rushing out and my foot wedged itself into the crevice of the door and the doorframe just as it nearly closed.

And inside I saw... Percy Jackson? But what was he doing in—?

HUH!

No.no.no.no.no.potato.no. no.no.

Unacceptable.

I changed my name and moved to Kansas.