✅ My Sister's Problem

38. Understanding

This chapter is dedicated to my Patreon supporter Uwigi. Thank you!

I stretched and opened my eyes. I hadn't felt a vibration from my wrist this time, but quite often I didn't. It was great having an alarm clock that could come on at just the right time, so that it felt like waking naturally. One hand flailed to the side of me for a few seconds, automatically reaching for my phone. I wasn't even thinking about why. Summer had been going well so far, and Lindy seemed to be less aggressive; like she had started to trust me again. I hoped that meant she was happy now, enjoying herself again.

I pulled myself away from idle thoughts when I realised that there was only a faint glow of sunlight through the curtains. It wasn't time to wake up yet, surely? That must have been why I'd reached for my phone; somewhere in the back of my mind was a voice asking what appointments I had this morning.

I hadn't set an alarm in the night so I could play some waterfall sounds to Lindy. I was sure about that; it had been a couple of weeks since I tried that trick now, and I didn't need to push her more. I'd promised myself several times that it was the end of it, only to do it one more time because she was being pretty aggressive with her attempts to bully me, or because she threatened to tell Mum about my accidents. Keeping that secret was for her benefit really; because I didn't want to have to let Mum know that my sister was still experimenting with drugs or whatever she had found. Of course, if she left me no choice I would have to do it. But it had been a while since that happened; now she was a little happier, she seemed less inclined to bring up those issues at breakfast. And I didn't need to feel guilty now, because it was beyond any doubt that it always made her sleep deeper, with longer in the theta state. The same for me as well. I'd even made myself wet once, a couple of weeks before, and found that I woke more refreshed than ever. There was no way I could think of it as cruel when I didn't mind experiencing it myself.

I gave up reaching for my phone. I would have to wake up, and then I would remember what reason there could be to wake myself up so soon. I put my hand back on my pillow, absent-mindedly hunting for Mr Muggins, and then I stopped. I checked again, but I knew what I had felt. A damp patch, only faint but still there. That was all I needed to make me wake fully, trying to piece together what had woken me.

After exploring a little, moving around and rolling over, I found three separate traces of moisture. The first was the one that I'd known was weird; on the floor beside my bed, where I might leave my phone so that I could listen to something while it charged overnight. The second was only a faint trace on my pillow. I'd felt that before, and wondered if I started drooling in my sleep. But this time I was pretty certain that wasn't the case, because it hadn't been near my face. It was on the far side of Mr Muggins, and the little bear showed no signs of saliva. The third, of course, was in my diaper. Somehow I hadn't noticed it right away, and I only checked when I realised that I'd been rocking against it as I shifted position, pressing the still-warm bulk of the padding against me without thinking as I shifted position and searched my surroundings for clues.

All at once, I knew exactly what had caused it. I'd been overthinking so much, and ignoring what I already knew about sleep science. I was sure Lindy would have laughed out loud if she could come close to the deductions that were in my mind now. She'd brought me a drink last night, of course she had. And now I knew what to look for, I leaned down to pick up my phone and called up the sleep tracker. I found exactly what I'd expected, and then looked back through the log files. More confirmation. I knew Lindy's secret now, and I knew that she probably didn't even know why it worked. But right now, I thought my priority should be changing my diaper and getting back to sleep. I grabbed a clean one, and moved towards the bathroom. My phone told me that my sister was just falling asleep; she'd just gone from alpha to beta state, so would be fast asleep soon enough. She might hear me opening the door, though. And if she caught me in a wet diaper... Well, there were so many ways that could lead to Mum finding out the truth about what she'd been doing. And I felt that I probably deserved it, enough that I didn't want Mum to get involved.