Saltwater

Percy

"So, Cadiz huh?" He asked, sitting on the bed.

I nodded, sitting with him. "Ever been?"

He shook his head. "... Will you really be... Alright? Going back?"

"I'm sure I will." I had to admit, I was a little nervous. Especially since... But I was sure I'd be fine. Like I said, I could fight them off now, if I had to. Nico, on the other hand... I wasn't too sure. I'd have to keep him close to me, to make sure that if anyone tried to hurt him...

As I looked over at him, the idea of anyone attacking him was... Absurd. He was so small, so soft-spoken, so... How do I say it?

Endearing. He was endearing.

It would've been comical. If not for the fact that he had such frequent nightmares, presumably about just that. So instead, the idea sparked a surge of protectiveness and rage at any hypothetical threats. I wouldn't let anyone hurt him, ever. Looking over at him, I considered asking him about it. Whoever it was that hurt him, whatever it was that they did... I wanted to find them. And I wanted to hurt them. But... I imagine he would react very badly to having to recount the worst moment, or moments plural, in his life. Not to mention, he'd be put off by my violent urges, not understanding that to me, that was just what it meant to love someone.

So I didn't. I fell back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, which he copies shortly after. My arm snaked around him again, and though his hip bones still stuck out a little, I began to notice a soft pad of fat forming on his belly, making me smile in relief. He began to lay on his side, snuggling up to me, his face relaxed and content, dark brown eyes looking up at me lovingly, before he realized... Something, and suddenly pushed himself back to a sitting position, unable to look me in the eye, tightly grasping the cross around his neck, seemingly unwilling to touch me.

The silence started souring from a peaceful one to an awkward one, so I began to speak. "... It's awfully big, and rough, and hard to navigate. The city, I mean. I... I think it'd be best if I stayed close by." I explained, not wanting to give away all of my reasoning.

His face turned red at that. "I... I don't need you to coddle me, you've done enough." He insisted.

"Are you sure? Because I mean, I grew up there, and I'd hate for you to get lost, or worse."

He seemed startled at that. "... Worse? What do you mean worse?"

I looked back at him. "... Did I... I didn't mean... I wasn't trying to say that out loud. I just meant... Nevermind. Just forget I said anything."

"I can't." He protested, slightly rocking back and forth on the bed.

Oh dear god, I've scared him.

I sat up with him. "Hey, it'll be alright. Just stay close to me, and it'll be alright. I'll protect you."

"Protect me from what?"

"From.... Anyone. Anyone that... Anyone that would hurt you. Anyone at all."

His eyes widened at that. "... Even if it means you get hurt?" He asked, concern in his voice that brought back memories I wasn't ready for.

You'll get hurt if you try to stop him, mi querido hijo.

My hands covered my face, and I tried to shake out the wave of emotions washing over me. Fear, anger, love, helplessness, guilt. She escaped. And I escaped. It's over. It's been over for the better half of my life. Why did I still feel like this?

I turned to him, now thoroughly disturbed, and I wished I could take it all back. All of this started with one little slip up, two words. If I could only go back in time...

"... Percy?"

"I won't get hurt." I rushed out. "I promise, I won't get hurt. I'll be alright, mama, I-"

"Percy, why did you...? You called... Me..." He trailed off, confusion transforming into horror. "Oh."

I motioned to dart out of the room, I didn't want him seeing me like this. I was asking him to let me protect him, and then I turned around, acting like a scared little boy.

But he stopped me. Not by grabbing at me, or even speaking a word. He just looked up at me, with those big, brown eyes that I came to love so dearly. He clearly felt the same, clearly was stuck in the same tension I was, of wanting to know but not wanting to have to ask. He wanted to know I would be alright.

So I stayed, sitting back on the bed, not saying a word. What do you say after you do something like that?

I began to stare at his rosary. How would he get this, if he wasn't...?

Of course, she could easily be misremembering. Or it could be a coincidence, or an imitation. I don't know. All I know is that he looks beautiful. I put a hand on his, and I was so tempted, then, to kiss him. I didn't... But I wanted to. 

I couldn't. He just seemed so... Vulnerable. It wouldn't be right, and it especially wouldn't be right not to ask first. Besides, by the way he had been clutching that cross, he would never feel the same. He would be mortified at the mere suggestion.

"... I suppose that's enough melodrama for one day, isn't it?" I suggested, trying to turn my mind from everything that had happened just minutes ago. "Do you need anything?"

"I just need you to stay with me." He answered. "... Would... You like me to keep reading?" He asked, picking Paradise Lost up, slightly waving it around.

I nodded, laying down beside him. I didn't pay attention this time. I just fondled the coin in my pocket and listened to his voice, and before I knew it, my heartbeat slowed to its natural rhythm. 

Just being close to him was enough. I couldn't very well ruin that, could I?