Keen's Turn: The Vampire's Appeal

Chapter 5: Vampire Vigilante (fourth quarter)

Seizing the Seal, Jared vaulted off the chair to shelter behind the cabinet, straining to peer around the side at the form in the frame.

"Good evening," said the vampire, ducking his head to peer through the sash. "What in damnation is on your door?"

A spark of hope flared in his heart.

"It seems to work on the window as well," the vampire continued, touching a gloved palm to it, then, without warning, hurling his body weight against the glass.

There was a sound of impact, and Jared flinched back, but the pane held firm.

As he poked his head back out around the cabinet, the vampire gave him a sour grin. "I don't suppose...you'd condescend to invite me in? Just as a sort of experiment."

Jared eased his head out farther to get a better view of him, ready to duck back at moment's notice. "Not on your fucking life."

"Really, young people these days. Leaving a caller out on the doorstep—"

"What fucking doorstep?"

The vampire scowled at him. "Well I would come by the doorstep, only there's something above it for which I do not care."

Hope swelled into triumph. "The words of God? You take issue with those?"

"Is that what that is?" The face at the window twisted with consternation.

"You've never seen a mezuzah before? They're not uncommon around here."

"Well I don't usually make house calls. But after our last appointment was such a...side-splitting experience, I thought I'd drop by to see how you were holding up. See if I had you in stitches."

"Yeah? Kinda hot for gloves, isn't it? You just think they're so keen?"

Keen looked down, stretching the fingers sheathed in black leather as if examining them for flecks of dust. "I confess when I gave you my name, I didn't think you'd have much occasion to use it." His eyes flicked back up, cast just a head too low for conversation. They lingered there, watching the movement as Jared swallowed, then raised to pierce into his. "Look, if we are to carry on with this...clandestine battle affair—"

"Who says we are?"

"Pardon?"

"I never agreed to fight you again. I'm done. You can't get in, so get lost."

He blinked, then started to laugh. "Oh come now. You thought you were out? Did you really think this vampire affair wouldn't come back to bite you?"

Jared grimaced, sensing the infirmity of his position.

"No. No, you're overruled. I'll see you lured over to the power station again, right enough."

"No goddamn way! I'm not falling for that ceiling panel bullshit again."

"It was a tarp, you prat. A part of a trap. You were wrapped and I was rapt."

"...wow. You...really like anagrams."

The vampire paused, a queer glimmer in his eye. Then he let out his breath. "Yes, well, at least I'm not a darn jester. Or should I say, a day's renter?"

Jared thought about this, then, extending an arm, he snatched a pencil and pad off the desk. Holding the tablet up against the cabinet, he scrawled "DARN JESTER" and "DAYS RENTER", then swiftly crossed out the letters one at a time. He stiffened as he progressed.