Khudgarzi

5

Kehte hain:
Khuda ne iss jahaan mein
Sabhi ke liye kisi na kisi ko hai banaaya

I woke up to find no trace of my husband to have slept on the couch and then I remembered that he said that he would be meeting Mila yesterday. It was around 5am, so I decided to get up and pray Fajr. Today, after a long time, I cried in sujood and for some reason it felt therapeutic. Whilst doing my dua'a for the prayer, I, vented to Allah. I made it a therapy session, I was in a way venting to Him and I feel like I was getting a reply back. And all that came in my mind was the following verse,

"Verily, with every hardship comes ease"

(Quran 94:6)

I knew I was satisfied with this, so I just sat there on the prayer mat, praying for my mother's health and completely losing track of time. Somehow, during all of this I fell asleep. I dreamt about, how I was back home with ammi and how everything was fine, she was cured from cancer and we were back to being a happy and normal family.

Except, that was a dream not reality. In reality, I was woken up with someone yanking me by my hair. I jerked up and looked around trying to process what just happened. To find no one other than my mother in law, standing in front of me.

"It's 7am and you're late, who's going to cook us breakfast and start cleaning up the mess after the Walima?" she said.

I looked back at her completely dumbfounded as to how yesterday, her son manhandled me and how she today just pulled my hair, I stared at her right in the eyes and I was met with a slap.

"When I tell you to hurry up and start your work, you should do as I say, otherwise you won't like the consequences", she yelled back at me.

With red eyes and a stinging cheek, I went downstairs and quickly started getting my work for the day. I made breakfast for everyone and served it on the dining table, whilst apologizing for the delay. Sania baaji had to go back to her home, so it was just uncle, aunty, and Saima baaji on the breakfast table. Right when I was about to sit for breakfast, Saima baaji held me by the wrist and said,

"Madame really thinks that we'll let her sit with us, go and sit on the kitchen floor aur suno use the plastic utensils we don't want you to use our regular utensils"

I looked at her with widened eyes and she just shrugged her shoulders. I looked to my father in law for help and he just tried not to lock eyes with me and read the newspaper like it was the most interesting thing in the world. I could feel my eyes getting glossy with tears, but I didn't want any unnecessary drama, so I went and sat in the kitchen to have my breakfast.

A few minutes later, my mother in law came in and told me to go and clean up after them on the dining table, right when I was about to leave, she just dropped a bomb on me.

"And listen, Shehryar has left for a business trip and he'll come back in a few months" she said.

"But he never told me about this, he never mentioned that he would be going away", I said.

I was met with a slap and she said, "tum hoti kon hou uski kay woh tumhay sab bataye" and with that she walked out of the door. I was more than determined to call my parents today and beg them to call me back. This was never the life that I signed up for. I don't understand what has happened ever since yesterday, they were fine with me and now suddenly they're doing all this.

(who even are you that he'd tell you about his whereabouts)

After finishing my work, I noticed that everyone had gone to bed so I thought of it as a chance for me to go and get some fresh air. I got my jacket and my phone and decided to take the directions to the nearest park. It was almost 9pm and it was a bit dark. Sitting on one of the benches of the park and started crying. I heard some shuffling around me and I looked up to find Henna staring back at me.

"Oh! uhm heyy. How are you?" I said, wiping my tears

"I'm doing good, you tell, why are you crying?" she said

"Oh nothing! I just really miss everyone back home, I can't even find a suitable time to call because of the time zones and plus I'm really bored here, I don't have much to do" I said

"Ohh meri jaan! You know what, get ready around 1pm tomorrow, I'll be coming to pick you up for lunch, we'll go out and I'll be your tour guide around Toronto", said Henna.

"It's really not necessary Henna, I'm doing fine!" I said

"Shut up! I just saw you crying and pretty girls aren't supposed to cry. You and I are officially going on a date tomorrow, now wipe your tears and prepare for the best day of your life!" said Henna.

"Oh okay!" I laughed out

Henna walked me back home and told me what to wear tomorrow in accordance with the weather. That night, for the first time coming to Toronto, I slept with a smile on my face, because Henna came and pulled me back up from the dumps like a guardian angel.

(A/N: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GIVE ME REVIEW OF HOW IT IS? DO YOU WANT MORE OF THIS OR AM I WASTING MY TIME HERE 😭 JUST PLEASE LEMME KNOW HERE IN THE COMMENTS AND IF YOU DO LIKE IT PLEASE DON'T FORGET TO VOTE)

(^sorry for the caps btw 😭)