Wicked Game

Chapter 11

If I had ever wondered how it must feel like to be a prisoner in Westeros I would have gotten my answer right now. The only differences between me and the people in the dungeon were probably the food and the comfort of my room. Were there any commonalities? Guards before my room, getting food at the same time and having no one to talk to. Seriously, not even the maids spoke any word. In the name of the gods, if I had wanted to feel like that, I would have joined the silence sisters. At least I had a lot of books and a window which lighted the room.
Since the first day in my personal prison I had counted the days. Today was number 14.

The first four days I had been agitated, walking through the room like a gadabout. After a while I accepted the fact that it made no sense to scream at the maidens and guards for help or at least a little bit of information.
Not even the " I am the princess of Dorne and my father will come and burn everything to the ground" threat was helpful. Ironically I realized a few seconds later who used to threat to burn everything. Hello Grandfather.

On day seven I pretended to be sick. A maester rushed into my room but after he couldn't find anything at all he left too, ignoring my whispering for help. Not a single word was spoken.
In the meantime I had counted all the bricks on the walls - 326.

Day eleven was the first time my eyes were filled with tears and a slice of hopelessness looked around the corner.
Today two  maids walked into my chamber and I pretended to sleep. I was so desperate to hear another human voice.

"Is she asleep?", the first one whispered and I had to hide the smirk that came across my face.

"I think so. Poor little girl. As if it wasn't to enough to forbid everyone to talk to her, they put her in the same room where her auntie and her cousin died."

My eyes widened within a second and for a moment I couldn't breath. My body was frozen and a shiver came over me. Since two weeks I was kept a prisoner in this room. The room where my mother was raped and murdered. I had leant my back against the wall whereas my brothers head was cracked...no wonder why I had to leave my former chambers. This was just another disgusting punishment. Did the Lannisters even changed the furniture? Fuck the simulated sleep - I needed to vomit immediately.

The maid jumped out of her skin when I rolled out of bed, took the bedpan and all of my breakfast left my stomach. It was Aurora, the maid Cersei had sent to me when we arrived in Kings Landing.
"Princess are you -", she started but the other one interrupted her. 
"Shh, we have to be quiet, you know that the queen forbid us to talk to her."
I threw an angry look at them while I flared my nostrils. In condition to my fear I was also beside myself with rage.

I took one step forward but Aurora didn't move. I wondered if she was brave or just scared stiff. The light that came through the window comprised me and my shadow got bigger and bigger as I moved forwards. I felt like a cat, starring at her prey animal, ready to engulf it within a second. Yet I mustn't forget that this maid was Aurora. No matter what happened next, Cersei would be informed by her. I swallowed my anger and let a simple smile appear on my face. Let the game begin.

„Please, stop being quiet", I said with a gentle accent, combined with a desperate look in my eyes, "just tell me the truth. Nothing will happen to you." I took another step forward until I was so close to her that no sheet could fit in. Her breath accelerated and I could smell hat her breakfast had included garlic.

"Did Elia Martell and her son Aegon Targaryen die in this room?" I whispered, pretending to be feared and insecure. Aurora hesitated so I repeated my question slowly. She paused for a moment before she nodded.

My rage got bigger but I forced myself to represent a calm mood.

"You see, it wasn't so hard, was it? Thank you for your honesty." I smiled and dismissed them. As soon as the door was closed I broke down.

I couldn't remember for how long I lay on the floor, starring at the wall. I was done. I was done with fighting, with staying strong, with surviving...for the first time in my life I stopped caring. I didn't care about being the future leader in Dorne, I didn't care about the fear that anything had happened to Ellaria when she tried to escape, I even stopped to worry if the donnish peoples wanted to avenge Oberyns death and my imprisonment. I understood my uncle's hate more than ever.

I wasn't aware how much time had passed by when I arose from the ground. I leant my back on the wardrobe and looked at the ceiling. The sunlight threw shadows in different sizes and shapes like the shadow plays I used to love when I was a little girl. How could this had happened?
A month ago I was the dornish princess, fighting with my cousins, living in safety. I breathed in and started to remember the last four weeks but no matter how hard I tried - my thoughts always returned to one special person.

I remembered how I sneaked around and ended in this tavern where I met him as a stranger, how he saved me and brought me back. I remembered how I left the town to practice my sword skills just to meet him again. I remembered how my heart stumbled whenever I saw his face.
A part of me wished I could just return to these moments, back when I was just Elia and he was just Jaime. No family history, no houses, just us. I wondered what could have happened if we really were just two normal people. But these thoughts were foolish. Not in a million life times we would be together. It was time to let it go. He was a Lannister and nothing would ever change that.