52. (BoyxBoy)

52. Page 22.

Chapter 17

Days passed and nothing happened. Matt and Aiden were both branded as loners, but instead of sticking together, the avoided each other like the plague. With not even a slight look in either’s direction or a quick ‘hey’, it was like they didn’t exist. They were isolated and lonely, but that meant nothing. The others didn’t matter, all they wanted was each other.

Matt stayed angry at Aiden, his rage never calming and Aiden felt equally angry. He decided to avoid the truth, but whilst he went along with the lie, Matt’s hatred grew.

Covering his love mark with a scarf, and hiding his head with his hands, nobody could see the truth. Not that they’d want to or even care.

It was on the tenth day of the separation and period of avoiding that Aiden broke free from its reigns. He felt it necessary to say goodbye to the only person he’d ever really known, let alone loved. It was his last full day alive, he’d decided and Matt deserved at least a quick ‘bye’. It was hard getting to him though; as he made it clear he wouldn’t touch Aiden with a bargepole.

It took Matt all day to seek out Matt. He was sitting on the field alone, at the end of lunch. Matt’s expression was blank and emotionless, a lot like Aiden’s default. He didn’t notice the boy walking towards him, which was good, as he’d have probably got up and walked away.

Aiden sat down next to Matt, as he reached his position. Matt immediately saw him, and a widespread look of agony splattered across his face, but then he calmed and spun around.

“Matt,” Aiden said softly. Matt was obviously playing the Invisible Aiden Game, because he acted as if he hadn’t heard a word, despite his ear twitching slightly.

“Matt,” Aiden called out again, slightly louder. “Listen,” he started but then paused. He stretched his hand out to meet Matt’s shoulder. It was bold and firm, but tender. It reminded him of so many memories, and a wave of sorrow flashed over him for tomorrow . . . and the day after that: the day which would never come.

“For goodness sake, Matt!” Aiden spat, “I didn’t make out with him!”

“No? You just gave yourself a giant hickey, then?” he said angrily, referring to the large love-bite on Aiden’s neck, turning around to face him. Maybe he wasn’t deaf after all.

“For God sake, he tried to frickin’ rape me!”

Matt looked at Aiden and saw the seriousness in his eyes. Slowly, he began to laugh. “Seriously?”

Hurt by his reaction, Aiden nodded weakly. Matt continued to laugh and shook his head. “Tell me about it, then,” he sighed eventually.

Aiden lowered his head, “He just forced himself on me. I couldn’t get him off me. I tried, but I couldn’t and he was just about to . . . then he stopped.”

“Whatever, man,” Matt shook his head.

Aiden looked on with pure hurt in his eyes, “When you found me, on that first day we met, at the railway, I was going to end it all. There was about five minutes left of my life, that night. Then it would’ve all been over. The pain, the misery, the sheer embarrassment of it all. You stopped me. You stopped me from killing myself,” he turned, “Why?”

“I didn’t. . . I don’t. . . I’m didn’t know. I didn’t know how fucked up your life was. I’m sorry. Maybe if I’d have known, I wouldn’t’ve done. Like, sorry. But you’re the most fucked up guy I’ve ever met. If I’d I’ve known, I doubt I’d even be here with you.”

“Why are you here? Why are you with me?”

“God knows.”

“Are you even attracted to me?”