North Star

19 | twin flames

2019

The thought of Nikau coming over to Hale Kahananui to read my Duke Kahanamoku paper and getting roped into dinner with the family made my skin itch, so I suggested I bring it over to his apartment instead and he accepted the offer.

In hindsight, I probably should have thought it over a bit more but by the time I realized it, it was too late. I shouldn't have been that bothered by inviting myself over to his damn apartment considering we already went to dinner together—not a date but who was I kidding—and he didn't make a big deal about it. It wasn't a big deal. I was just overthinking every action I made around him for no other reason except to internally sabotage myself.

Truthfully, I had no concept of the full scope of Nikau's success and what kind of money he had, so I didn't have any sort of reaction when he sent me an address for a condo building near the Longs on Beretania Street. Finding street parking was a bitch since he only had one parking stall in the building. After circling twice, I snagged a spot not far from the building and before I knew it, he was buzzing me upstairs.

He was wearing a white long-sleeve shirt and black sweatpants. And I was—

"Twins," he laughed when he saw me.

"You cut your hair," I noted.

Nikau grabbed at his now short hair and dragged his fingers through like he was searching for phantom strands. "Got a little tired of the bun. I kept losing all of my hair ties."

"I thought the bun was nice."

"Most people hate man buns," he laughed.

"Polynesian men will always get a pass in my book."

I handed him the binder and followed him inside down the short hallway that opened up into a small living room with an adjoining kitchen. The door to a glorified den that was likely (generously) called a second bedroom was on the opposite side of the room while the master bedroom and bathroom were directly off to the left. From what little I could see as we walked past it, there wasn't much in the way of decor. Even his curtains were a standard navy blue that looked straight out of an apartment stager's handbook. (Either white to make the room appear bigger or blue because it calmed apartment hunter's during a stressful time.)

The rest of his apartment matched the bareness of his bedroom. It made sense considering he just moved in here only a couple of months ago, but it was also a reminder of his temporary presence. By this time next year, he would likely be gone, having finished his album or possibly even having released it.

I would be stuck here, tethered to a place I wasn't sure I ever wanted to leave but desperate to discover myself beyond who I was tied to it.

"I like what you've done with the place."

Nikau laughed and scratched the back of his neck. "It's a bit of a dump."

"It's not." Most people I knew wouldn't even be able to afford living out here, even though it wasn't an extravagant building by any means. "I just think it could use a fresh coat of paint."

"I actually did try to ask about that but the landlord went off on some tangent and all I heard was security deposit so I thought it best not to give that a nudge anymore."

I pointed at the binder in his hand before pulling the curtain aside to glance outside the window. As far as views went, at least he wasn't staring at a brick wall. Even though I gave my side of the island a hard time for being overtly simple—things rarely changed and if they did, it took forever to happen—I wouldn't trade the proximity to a busier lifestyle for my view. I couldn't imagine not being able to wake up to the sound of crashing waves every single morning. It was sometimes the only reason I even got out of bed, even if just to sit on my windowsill and stare out at the ocean.