the things we do in the dark (+18)

16

Three more minutes. Just three more minutes.

Her phone rings.

Iverem picks up the call. "What?"

"Come on; we gotta go. We're going to be late, " Jonah says.

"I'll be down soon," she says.

Iverem looks back at the pregnancy test, willing the thing to give her an answer. It's been over a month since she had her last period. And though Iverem has an irregular menstrual cycle, her periods always come a week before or later than her previous one. Other than that, she and Jonah always used protection. They were always careful. So how could this happen when they were always careful? Finally, an answer pops up on the pregnancy test. The results are inconclusive.

"Fuck!" she says, throwing the pregnancy test at the wall.

The phone rings again. She doesn't pick it up this time. Instead, Iverem grabs her bag and races to her apartment door.

"Where are you going?" her mother yells from the kitchen.

She says: "out with Jonah."

In his car, Jonah gazes at his reflection from the visor mirror, fixing his dark brown locks with a huff whenever he's dissatisfied with his profile. Iverem shimmies into the passenger seat, hoping to be inconspicuous. Maybe he won't get too mad.

"They're already there," he says, flicking the visor mirror shut.

"Sorry," she says. "I had to take care of some things."

"Iverem, you know how I hate being late," he says, putting his sunglasses on. He'll never let her see it, but Iverem can tell he's frustrated with her.

"C'mon, it's only August," she says playfully.

She massages the back of his neck gently. Usually, this works to ease the now constant tension in their relationship. Today, not so much. He shrugs her hand off and scolds her: "You should always make a good impression on people. No matter who it is."

Iverem scoffs. She didn't want to go to the rodeo with August and his wife. Though their row is settled, she still wants to be nowhere near August. He makes her feel out of control and crazy. And those two emotions or feelings, or whatever the fuck they are, are not things a woman like her should ever feel. Not again. Iverem couldn't afford another breakdown, not after what happened with Michael.

She fists her jean shorts to keep herself from saying another word.

Jonah sighs, stilling her fidgeting fingers with his palm. He intertwines their hands as a peace offering. "I don't mean to be harsh with you. It's just August's in my orbit now, and I don't know what to make of it."

Neither do I.

They're silent for most of the ride. Once Jonah parks the car, though the ire between them is thick, they make their way to the stadium hand in hand. Never mind that their failed proposal looms over their relationship or that Jonah will never forgive Iverem for cheating; appearances will always matter to Jonah. And they have an image to uphold; even though people no longer believe they are a picture-perfect couple, they are still trying to pretend to be. 

The stadium is mostly empty. A few people are littered around the bleachers, most likely frequent attendees or lovers of rodeos. Iverem evades August and Devon's presence for some time by loitering around the concession.  When she finally decides to buy the blue raspberry and cherry swirl cotton candy instead of the jalapeno-flavoured popcorn, the rodeo clown's act is almost done.

The rodeo clown is stuck in a barrel. A bull mascot rounds the barrel, eventually deciding it's not a threat. When the mascot turns its back, the barrel rises, and the clown's multicoloured leatherette shoes appear underneath it. Shouts from attendees cause the bull to turn around, catching the clown in the middle of their escape. The mascot launches itself into the clown. The clown has met his demise.