You
Evan
You
But what happened to hello?
Motherfucker?
Dickwad?
Why did it have to be cocknut?Evan
Don't you dare disrespect the
cocknut, you whoreYou
Dam
You woke up and chose violence
todayEvan
I will always protect the
cocknut
🐓🥜You
🐓🥜
Daymon dog
Evan
DAM
I love your dog
Is it bad ik someone called
Damon spelt like that?You
Yes
You have been infected
with California
You must leave and never
go backEvan
But work??You
Get a new job
Become a dentist or somnEvan
Nah
I don't wanna be my dad
What if I steal your job?You
DO ITTT
We should switch jobs
I would be a freakin awesome
actor
You can't tell me otherwiseEvan
I mean
You have an interesting
personality
Now all you gotta do is get
some contacts and you got
yourself a gigYou
Wow rude
And I know literally no one in
the acting industryEvan
You know meYou
TrueEvan
You also know directors of
projects you've worked on
And plus, don't you work for
Disney??You
HOLY CHAZ
YES I DO
BRB
IMMA BE ON THE NEXT TV
SHOW
YOU SHOULD JOIN ME
WE SHOULD BE THE STARS OF THE
TV SHOW
THAT WOULD BE EFFING AWESOMEEvan
HOLIEST COW
WE SHOULD
WE WOULD ROCK IT
TWO THIRTY YEAR OLDS
STARRING IN A KIDS TV SHOWYou
Wait
That would actually be kinda weird
We could be the parents that have
a very clear bias to the main
character and never have a clue
what's going onEvan
Oooh yeah that would be
better
Let's do thatYou
Betttttt
Wait isn't there usually like
a wedding episode that the main
characters crash resulting in us
never being married??
And then after that, don't we have
to like kiss at multiple points
in the series?Evan
Why in every show that
involves a family does that
episode exist??
It's so weird
And I think so yeahYou
Yeah I have absolutely zero
clue why that episode always
exists
And like what if you're not attractive?Evan
I've played the main character
in movies before
I'm pretty stereotypically
attractive
What if you're not attractive??You
Eh true that
And I've gotten asked out in
a gas station before
Plus I have an "interesting personality"
So that has to count for somethingEvan
Wow
Low blow
And good for youYou
Thank you~~~~tweet tweet bitch~~~~
Chris Evans @ChrisEvans
Imma star in the next Disney
sitcom
(maybe)
563 likes • 421 comments • 352 retweets
CITEȘTI
Carnations (Wrong Number)
FanfictionOne fateful (and kinda cliche) day, Y/N manages to mess up her friend's phone number. And well, I think you can imagine what happens next.