Selkie

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen

I had never seen anything like the storm that night. I've still never seen anything even close to it. Ian and I were driving north, and out of nowhere, the heavens opened. It was like the full force of the North Sea unleashed itself on us. The winds whipped the van with such ferocity that I thought we would end up in the ditch. What made it all the scarier was that with every flash of lightning, the ditches on either side of the road were visibly filling up with water.

Ian took a wrong turn off the A9 onto the A99, and neither of us noticed. You couldn't see a foot in front of you, much less read the road signs.

I remember begging Ian to pull over and being rebuffed. He felt that if we stopped, we'd be in worse shape, so we plowed on, fighting for every inch of ground as we drove through the torrential downpour. I honestly thought we were going to die.

After you cross the Dornoch Firth Bridge, the A9 more or less follows the coastline, not so close that you can always see it but close enough to feel it. That was the first time I heard the Sea's call. 

I don't know how to describe it except to say that it rang me like a bell, like I was the bell itself. If I had any lingering doubt about the truth of what was happening, that was the moment I knew that I really was the daughter of a Selkie. 

Every part of me was vibrating. 

Have you ever listened to the ocean in a seashell? Picked up a conch and put it to your ear? It's something like that. Through some clever science trick, the ambient sound around you transforms into crashing waves. Hearing the Song of the Sea is like being a bell or a seashell. You are the waves. Your whole body is a part of the music. Though, if I'm honest, it is even more like lying on your back on an old shag carpet and listening to Elgar's The Dream of Gerontius in the dark, the part that begins "softly and gently dearly ransomed soul, in my most loving arms I now enfold thee, and o'er the penal waters, as they roll."

It is a thing that needs to be felt to be understood.

I started swaying along with it, moving my body back and forth. I heard myself humming a song I didn't know, a song that moved with the rhythm of my body. I was in tune with the storm, one with the water battering the van like so many pebbles. An endless drone reverberated in my chest. It crawled up my throat and burst out of my lips. It wasn't quick or violent like a bark or a laugh. It leaked out of me. Like a steady stream - a melody I couldn't control.

Seinnibh leanabh na sgrios naomhna tobhta sgriosna tobhta Naomhclach fo chloich domhainn fon talamhdomhain san t-sloc san uaigh chiùinTha mi air mo thiodhlacadh fon bhòrd Tha mi air mo thiodhlacadh fo na reultanTha mi air mo thiodhlacadhseinnibh leanabh an sgrios naomhna tobhta sgriosna tobhta Naomh

It freaked Ian right out.

"What are you doing?"

"I don't know!"

"Stop it."

"I can't."

Seinnibh leanabh na sgrios naomhna tobhta sgriosna tobhta Naomh

"Edie, I swear to God!"

Ian pulled into a parking lot in front of what looked like a pub. It was an old stone building with warm light pouring out its windows.

"You stay in here - I don't know what's going on, but it feels like something. I'm going to see if I can get us a room for the night. We can't go into whatever this is blind." Ian exited the van, and the force of the wind nearly took the door off its hinges.

I am proud of what I did next. No matter what would come later, this was a good idea. Fumbling in my purse, I took out my phone and made a voicenote of the song.

I didn't grow up singing, and what was coming out of me sounded like someone else's voice. It was like some ancient ancestor of mine was borrowing my body, like the sea herself was using me to make herself known. The melody was ghostly, ethereal. The words sounded like nonsense to me. But they were distinct words and something in me knew that what was coming out of me was important, something I should be paying attention to.

I waited for Ian for as long as I could stand it, singing the same song over and over and over again.

Seinnibh leanabh na sgrios naomhna tobhta sgriosna tobhta Naomhclach fo chloich domhainn fon talamhdomhain san t-sloc san uaigh chiùinTha mi air mo thiodhlacadh fon bhòrd Tha mi air mo thiodhlacadh fo na reultanTha mi air mo thiodhlacadhseinnibh leanabh an sgrios naomhna tobhta sgriosna tobhta Naomh

When I couldn't take the waiting any longer, I grabbed Ian's keys and my backpack and followed him into the homey light of the pub.