Sup? Been a while. TW: talks about suicide
Life is shit. Living is shit. I hope I get hit by a fucking car. Yup. We're back in suicidal territory. I thought I was getting better but here I am again: contemplating how many sleeping pills I would need to take to kill myself. I mean I probably won't go through with it, at least not until August. Why August? So my siblings and/or my parents don't have to find my body. I've actually been thinking about how I was planning to kill myself on the second day of school but now it's the second day of June. I've thought of dozens of ways to kill myself. By the time I was thirteen I had tried to kill myself 4 times (all of which I was 12 for). And by the time I was 14 I have tried to kill myself 14 times. now you may be wondering how after 14 attempts I'm still alive well the secret is: they were all very mild attempts. I didn't really put in much effort. I didn't want to traumatize my siblings any more than going to my funeral. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't tried to survive all the times I nearly died. I don't mean 'oh I didn't look both ways before crossing the street and a few seconds after I was across someone came speeding down the road' I mean I was literally drowning and almost gave up. I had laughed while swimming and sank like a rock and without enough air couldn't get back up. I mean I was crossing the street and a car made an illegal left turn and nearly hit me. I mean almost landed on my head after jumping off a roof (not that way) but twisted so I hit my side.
To the class if 2028 of ******** Middle school:
You are just as bad as them. You are like every government official who wants me dead. Did you know every time you told me to hang myself you shaved years off my life. Everytime you shouted wrist check at me you stole a piece of my soul. Everytime you called me a faggot you took time away from my future everytime you called me a tranny you were closer to hearing I killed myself. Everytime you called me bald headed I thought about making you an honorable mention in my letter. Everytime you laughed at me. Everytime you ostracized me. Everytime you thought I didn't hear. You were bringing yourself closer to being in jail, because that is called "accessory to suicide", is a class D felony, gets up to six years in prison, a 10,000 dollar fine, and the guilt of knowing because if you I overdosed. (I did my research Incase I ever did commit so I would know who to mention)
Lots of hate, I'm going to punch you in the face, and I hope you burn in hell,
Elliott.
Ok byeee loves
YOU ARE READING
My Diary For Bored Ppl
RandomBc I feel like it, read into my innermost thoughts. Its like the title says, a public diary. See the life of a mentally ill trans kid in the rural south.
