Battle Wounds

eight.

It's not like it would change anything. Robby's words floated around in her mind. Perhaps he was right but Harper decided to go against his advice.

Harper risked a look out the window as the car slowed to a stop outside of the Golf N' Stuff Arcade. It was a single-story building, nothing out of the ordinary though it drew people in like a magnet. While the notion of arcade games, golf, and greasy food would bring a smile to anyone's face, she only felt anxious. Terrified.

From the moment she called Ryan to the days leading up to the present, Harper had been a bundle of nerves. She still was. Constantly doubting her decision while wanting to know what had kept him away for over a decade. She was filled with a sense of dread as the worst-case scenarios played on a loop in her mind. Each one was worse than the last, only adding to the fear.

Harper wasn't a stranger to disappointment and learned early on to prepare for the worst but to hope for the best. And perhaps there was no need to expect bad news. Perhaps, for once in her life, everything would be fine, and there was no need to worry. More than anything, she hoped it would be but the pessimist in her told her otherwise. And that she should be prepared for her life to come crashing down.

Now the day was finally here, and she stayed glued to the car seat. Her eyes took in the arcade, packed with people enjoying a fun summer afternoon. A sigh escaped her lips. While everything in her told her to run and forget about Ryan and his excuses, she couldn't. This was her one chance at finding out the truth, and if she chickened out now, then it was over. And she would permanently question her dads' absence for the rest of her life.

"Do you still want to do this? Because it's okay if you want to change your mind," Olivia told her gently, pulling her out of her obsessive thoughts.

Harper tugged at a loose strand on her jeans and slowly nodded despite not having a clear answer. Or at least an answer that didn't change every few seconds. "No. I mean, yeah. I just... I need to know why he left, you know? Why I wasn't good enough for him to stay or come look for me."

Olivia studied her for a moment, her eyes reflecting the pity she felt. "Hey, listen to me," she took hold of her hand and forced Harper to look at her. "You can't think like that. No matter what his reasons, they have nothing to do with you. You were a child and this isn't on you. You hear me?"

"Yeah," she whispered, though she genuinely didn't believe it.

Whenever something went wrong in her life, she was on the receiving end of the blame. By former foster parents, CPS, and the law. After so many years of being held accountable for all the bad shit in her life, she'd come to believe that to be true.

"No matter what happens, you still have us. Me, Lucas, Cole. We're all here for you," Olivia added.

Harper smiled at the kind words though her own wicked thoughts led her to question everything. Maybe Olivia meant everything but a happy ending wasn't in her future. Sooner or later, the Hudsons would tire of her. Their good deeds in society would come to an end, and they would realize they don't need a poor foster kid in their lives.

Olivia squeezed her hand, her kind smile reaching her eyes. "Are you ready?"

"No. Not really," she said with a nervous smile.

"I can wait with you if you want," Olivia offered, but Harper shook her head. "We can do this together."

"Thanks, but... I kinda have to do this by myself." Harper pulled her seatbelt off. Her hand hovered near the handle before she pushed the door open. "Wish me luck."

A heaviness wrapped itself around Harper the moment she exited the car. Doubt crept into her mind but she shook the negative thoughts away and hoped they'd leave her alone. She turned towards the packed arcade and forced her legs to move before searching the crowd for Ryan. When she failed to locate him, she frowned, worried that he wouldn't show. She glanced at her phone and saw she was early, but the worry remained nonetheless.