RESPIRE (LGBTQIA+)

Torment

III. TORMENT

KAL WAS HERE. I COULD hear her speaking to our mum. But he was here in this small, cramped room with me when I had the sudden urge to scream for her when it was beginning to rise through my chest like a wildfire burning inside me. Either way, I kept my jaw clamped shut to the point it was starting to ache when I knew inside that he knew what I wanted to do when his dull brown eyes stared at my face as he tried to read my mind.

On the outside, I was frozen in place and not daring to twitch a muscle as I stayed still, while on the inside, I was screaming, but the words wouldn't form on my lips to leave my mouth. I felt like my body was set on survival when my mind was ready to fight or die trying. Physically, I didn't want to start digging my own grave to give up because this is not how it should be.

"Let's play a game." He whispered when he finally figured out my thoughts.

All I could do was stare at him blankly while he was searching for something until he found a nail, knowing what Scott was going to do when my mind threw itself into panic at what was going to happen next, his rough hand grabbed hold of my wrist when I felt myself pull back with him being easy to read when he tightened his grip to keep me from moving it away.

"I want you to cover the nail with your palm. If you make a peep or even a noise, you can guess what will happen, however, if you manage to keep quiet. No harm done." He instructed as he stood the nail up and covered it with my palm, the dull point stabbing into the middle while he kept his hand over mine.

I placed my free hand over my mouth as I bit down into my palm to contain any sound that threatened to escape me, my chest feeling tight when I tried not to breathe. I felt my hand begin to shake when he pushed my hand down harder on the nail, feeling my stomach muscles tense up to keep the pain from escaping my mouth as I bit down harder so the noise wouldn't fall out. I tried to concentrate on the sound of Kal's voice, concentrating on every word she spoke as I closed my eyes whilst I tried to forget about the situation I was in when I let my teeth sink deeper into my skin to force me to breathe through my nose, cancelling out any chance of a sound.

When her voice started to fade away and grow quieter, I felt my heart plummet into the bottomless pit of somewhere within my stomach. My ears strained to hear the front door open, Kal saying goodbye, and our mum saying it back. When the door closed, I couldn't keep the whimper at bay when my heart ached, knowing I had lost his sick and twisted game.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I tightly clamped my jaw shut when I listened to every syllable that clung to his words. "You made a sound," he spoke with a tut at the end.With his hand on top of mine, I felt him force it down on the nail as it penetrated my skin and into my hand when I bit down into my arm as I cried out a scream, the pain radiating throughout my palm while he got up and left, shutting the door behind him. I couldn't keep the tears from falling down my cheeks as I pulled the nail from my hand, the sound of a cry coming from me as it came out. The pain was worse pulling it out than it was having him slam my hand down on it. I looked at the wound in the middle of my palm as the large blood droplet burst and overspilled as it ran down my hand and forearm, tickling the skin while my palm was on fire. I shuffled back against the wall as I held my shirt to my palm to try and stop the bleeding when it started to go everywhere.

I snapped my head up when I heard the front door open and close, unsure who had left the house this time as I quickly dried my eyes, hearing the door unlock in front of me when dread filled my chest that he was still here and had not finished his games. The only person I saw when the door opened was my mum as she placed a plate on the floor before closing the wooden door again, the latch locking when I heard her walk away. I tried to focus my eyes on what was occupying the plate when I struggled to make it out, but it didn't take long until my curiosity got the better of me when I pulled the plate closer towards me to see slices of bread. I wasn't sure if she was trying to settle my stomach for something bigger or to give me at least something small to eat. I tore a small piece of the bread and placed it onto my tongue, taking my time to chew it as I made my way through the slices, surprised that they filled me up faster than I had expected them to.