this is me trying || charles leclerc

Dorothea

Charles' birthday was coming up. He didn't want to throw a big party, he would have preferred a simple dinner at home with his friends, but they insisted on going out and celebrating him.
On Monday, Carola called me.

Carola Bianchi was my best friend in the whole world. We met in elementary school and have been friends ever since. Unfortunately, after we graduated high school we drifted apart. I moved here while she moved to Milan to study. Then she moved to Berlin and I barely talked to her. It is not like I wasn't her friend anymore, life just got in the way.

«Hey Alba! It's been a while since I last heard from you. We have a lot of catching up to do»
«I know it's been ages but lately I've been pretty busy»
She didn't know about my whole "situation". It wasn't an easy topic to talk about over the phone.
«Anyway, I'll be in southern France for two weeks. I'll arrive on Friday morning: we could go out on Saturday just like old times, what do you say?» Shit.
«I'll let you know ok? I already have plans»
«Don't worry girl, if Saturday doesn't work for you we will find another day. I've got to go now. Love you!»
«Love you too.»

Charles entered the room just seconds after I hung up. He asked me who it was.
«Were you spying on me?» He laughed. I told him who it was. I suggested hanging with her on his birthday so he could enjoy a night out with the boys. I didn't tell him that I wanted a way out of seeing Hugo.
«No way you're skipping my party. You should invite her. The more the merrier» he said with sarcasm. He hated going out to parties because every time someone would stop him for a picture. He just wanted some privacy.

To Carola:
Wanna come to a party on Saturday?

It is safe to say that Charles' birthday party was everything but small and private. We went to Jimmy'z, the most exclusive club in Monte Carlo. Charles invited all of his friends, from our group to other drivers.
«You made it!» he said after we arrived.
«Well someone had to drop Chiara to your mother's house. Anyway, this is my friend Carola»
After I introduced them it was clear that they were both interested in each other. He had eyes only for her all night and she loved the attention he gave her.

I felt like I had a rock on my chest. Why did I feel that way? I forgot about them easily when Fabio Quartararo made his way to me.
«You must be the famous Alba. I heard a lot about you»
«Wish I could say the same about you»
«Ouch, that hurt» he said laughing. He had a beautiful smile.
Maybe it was the champagne but I found Fabio really attractive. He didn't try to impress me with his career or flexing muscles. We had a genuine conversation. For a moment I forgot all about Chiara, Charles and Hugo. I hadn't felt that good in a while.

We were sitting on a sofa and Fabio got up to get us something to drink. Meanwhile, Charles came over and told me to follow him to the terrace.
«So, are you having fun?» I asked while I shivered. It was the middle of October and, even though the days were still warm, the nights were freezing.
«Are you flirting with Fabio?»
«Oh well, nice of you to ask, I'm having a good time»
«Answer me»
«Why do you care? It's not like you're my boyfriend. I could ask you the same thing. Are you flirting with Carola?»

He didn't answer me and went back inside, leaving me out on the cold night.
«There you are, I couldn't find you. I thought you might have run away»
It was Fabio. He put his jacket on my shoulders and a drink in my hand.
«Yeah, sorry, I needed some fresh air»
But that moment didn't last very long because Pierre Gasly called him back in. Then the last person I wanted to see came out on the terrace.

«Hugo...»
«Charles and Fabio, I didn't know you take two men at a time.» Excuse me?
«What do you want?»
«Funny how you can forget a person so easily»
I looked at him in shock. What did he mean? I asked him.
«You know what I mean. I know you feel something for me. So why do you run after men you know you will never have?» he said, getting dangerously close to me. His breath reeked of alcohol. I tried to get back inside but he took me by the wrist and pinned me to the banister.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath while he kept talking to me, telling me that I was stupid, that it was obvious that I didn't have a chance with Charles or Fabio.
I slapped him, as hard as I could. He took a few steps back.
«You bitch» he said. I don't know what would have happened if Charles didn't push him off of me.
«You're done here. Get your things and leave.»
«Look Charles swooping in and saving the damsel in distress. Very heroic of you. But wait, I've seen this film before...with Giada, Charlotte and all the other girls that you fucked»
I had never seen Charles so furious. He took my hand, briefly thanked the other and we went home.

Once home, he made us some tea to calm ourselves.
«I'm sorry that happened»
I was silent. I was replaying my conversation with Hugo in my head, over and over.
«How could someone love you and tell you those things?» I asked while staring at the mugs on the table.
«He was hurt, and drunk...and stupid. I bet he didn't mean it»
I didn't think it that way. He held me in his arms for a while, trying to calm me down. I fell asleep a while after and woke up in my bed.

The following morning, Carola texted me.

From Carola:
Is everything ok? Let's get some coffee together.

So we did. We met in her hotel in Saint-Tropez. She was there for business and Charles drove me there. He was going to pick Chiara up after.
Once we got our breakfast, Carola started talking.
«What the hell happened last night? I saw you and Charles run away from the party. I was bummed that he was leaving but I was more worried about you»

I told her everything, the whole story, from the accident to last night.
«Why didn't you tell me about it?»
«It's not something I talk about easily. I wanted to be face to face. Sorry for last night»
«No Alba, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have made a move on your baby daddy»
«He is not my baby daddy» I said frustrated.
But she was just joking.

«Alba, I know that we are not as close as we were when we were teenagers. But that doesn't mean that you can't count on me. If I knew, I would have dropped everything and came here to help you»
«I know you would»

We spent the whole day together. We went back to Monaco and she met Chiara.
«She is the cutest baby I have ever seeen!»
«You want to hold her?»
«Hell no»