Like a Best Friend | ✓

chapter eleven

Artists Palette is breathtaking. I can't get over the colors of the hills, reds and oranges and yellows mixing with pinks and greens and blues, a rainbow of volcanic deposits. We spend more than an hour there, marveling at the beauty and trying to capture it in photos, climbing down amongst the hills to explore as much as we can before we have to be back at the van at four thirty. Kitty and I break away from the others, hiking up to the top of one of the hills with her camera. She reaches the top first, training the camera on me as I follow her up.

"Don't you dare, I'm so fucking sweaty," I huff as I try not to slip on the dusty trail. Kitty doesn't lower the camera, so I take out my phone and take her picture as she takes mine, and my breath catches when I check out the photo. There's a streak of green hill to her left, a stripe of pink to her right, the sun lighting her up and casting golden rays through her curls and illuminating her smile. Her eyes are hidden by the camera, but I know they're sparkling. It's the least effort I've ever put into taking a photo of Kitty, and it's one of the best I've ever taken. She's isn't posing, looking right at me through her own camera. I hit favorite, so it doesn't get swallowed up in my camera roll, my hundreds of photos of everything we've seen, and I sit next to her at the top.

For a while, we say nothing. We take in the view. We watch the handful of people in our line of sight as they walk and stop and take photos and chat and laugh and pose.

"Thank you for this," Kitty says.

"It's not over yet." We still have sunset to go, one more stop in the park before we get back to Vegas in time for a late dinner in our hotel.

"I know. Just ... thank you." She leans against me, resting her cheek on my shoulder. "Today's been incredible. I never imagined we'd end up here."

"I'm full of surprises," I say, my chin on top of her head. I close my eyes against the sun, golden hour not far away. "I wanted you to have the most amazing time."

"Even though you never liked Levi?"

My heart twinges. "I never disliked him," I say carefully. "We got on fine."

"Fliss, it's okay. I'm not marrying him anymore. You don't have to pretend."

I sigh. "It's not that I disliked him," I say, and that's true. No bad vibes. No creeping feeling of discomfort or wariness. I could have a conversation with the guy, no problem. "He's a nice guy, I just didn't think he matched your energy. I guess I never really understood the appeal. Like, romantically. He's a really good friend to you, and I know you have loads in common, but I didn't see the chemistry."

My arm is pinned between us. The only comfortable place to put it is around Kitty, anchoring me to her on top of this little hill in the middle of a rainbow. "And even if I did dislike him," I add, "I wouldn't use that against you and plan you a shitty honeymoon. I would've still made it as Kitty as possible. I just would've used his money."

Kitty laughs. I feel the vibration of her body. "He's a mensch," she says. "I think you'll like him more now that he's just my friend rather than the guy I'm going to spend the rest of my life with."

"I've got to be honest, Kits, now that you two have broken up, I don't plan to hang out with the guy."

"I still want him in my life," she says quietly. I hear the hurt in her voice and I wish I understood what's going on in her head and her heart.

"Is that even possible?"

She shrugs. "I guess we'll find out."

I remember the conversation I had with my mom this morning. "Have you spoken to your mom since we came out here?"