spanking and domestic discipline

Deciding our boundaries

I don't know what to do,it's so out of thought,everything was so random,I don't know how can I accept this,but I desire this.I know that.
This feeling that is buried deep in my heart makes me weak at my knees .How can  I fall for this?
Maybe it was lack of love I felt at home or loneliness,it never goes away,stays with me like shadow which is destined to be with me till the end of time.
I don't want to repeat the same mistakes again and again,I know my heart won't be able to take this again.
Alas,but hope is the last thing to leave and then person becomes dead inside,I wonder I am dead or not ,it all feels the same.

I was lost in my thoughts,when he gently put his hand on my shoulder.
He said ,"Shall I continue the punishment part?".

I nodded.

PUNISHMENTS
1.SPANKING DEPENDING ON THE OFFENSE.
2.BUTTPLUG
3.NOT ALLOWED TO MASTURBATE
4.VIBRATOR OR DILDO FOR A LONG TIME

I felt the punishments were quite alright,not too harsh ,I couldn't take harsh punishments anyway.
How can I trust him?
I am a fucking fool,to trust men again and again.
Humans are slaves to desire,that's why life is miserable.

He came near me and gently hugged me,I felt butterflies in my stomach,I gently picked me up and put me to bed,he gently massaged my hair,his touch was so loving,felt as if stars were dancing on my skin.I was afraid of tomorrow yet I desired it,such conflicted thoughts.
I felt his hand on my stomach ,gently massaging it,I don't know what to do,I just wanted to melt into his arms,I wanted to be his and only his till the end of time.

He gently started removing my clothes,I didn't stop him.I had given him right over my soul,I knew he wouldn't do anything wrong.My body was stiff in pain,he gently massaged me,my back and shoulders ,it relaxed me ,he went down there and said " you are beautiful  ,don't think so much ,forget everything ,I am there for you".

He gently oiled his fingers , and gently spread my legs,he slowly inserted his one finger going in out ,then two ,simultaneously rubbing the clit,he continued it ,then kissed me gently on the lips,our eyes met and were shining like stars in the sky,he started slow then started going fast,I was flowing with my juices,my legs were becoming stiff,how vulnerable I was ,finałly he hit my g-spot and I cummed.
He picked me up and put me in the bathtub,warm water filled it ,It felt like a relief as I was sore,he gently cleaned my body and hair,dried me up and again put me on the bed,he opened my legs again,I closed my eyes this time,I was already weak,I felt like a cold thick cream ,he said -" your skin feels really dry ,I don't want you to get rashes,this cream is also anti fungal,it will protect you".He again took a bottle of some coconut oil ,and gently rubbed the oil on my anus,I felt his finger inside,I tightly hugged him,he continued,to put it till it was well lubricated inside and outside,he then closed my legs and said stay like this till the cream is dried then you can wear your underwear,I was lying on his lap naked and he was gently  
Stroking my hair ,giving me kisses on my forehead in the middle sometimes ,he gently stroked my forehead,I forgot all my worries, he then cuddled me to sleep ,his body was giving me the warmth I never felt before ,both from inside and outside.