By Your Side/ WooSan🖤🧡

Escape

I never thought I needed an escape
From his grasp
From his eyes
From him

San pov:

It did bother me that they changed the choreography. It bothered me that I wasn't doing this specific move with Wooyoung. It was our move. I didn't understand why the sudden decision. It wouldn't just shock the fans, but it firstly shocked me... and him.

His eyes were connected to mine. He didn't stop looking as if he was asking me to do something. His eyes were asking desperately for help and here I was helpless once again.

What should I do to make you not worry?

Will it be okay to refuse such a decision when the concert is few days away...?

Why does it feel like you are about to cry?

Talk to me so I can help... I don't understand what I am supposed to do with the way you are looking.

My head was filled with so many thoughts that it made me want to just lay down and close my eyes.

"Is it easy to do this move?" Yeosang interrupted my chain of thoughts... rather questions.

"Um..." I looked at him still confused, not knowing what to exactly say.

"Don't worry I think we will figure it out" he laughed trying to make the situation better. Yeosang was quiet but he knows how to read a room very well.

"Yeah, you are right!" I answered, trying to be optimistic, glancing over at Wooyoung that was now sitting on the floor, sinking his head between his legs.

I didn't know if being optimistic was the right choice, but its work and I couldn't make a scene right now. I would have to wait until we go back to the dorm to talk to him and reassure him. I just hoped that he would stay strong for now because I know he didn't take the news well.

"WooSan will be on a break for now" the manager finally concluded after a long silence.

"Break?!" Wooyoung yelled forgetting where he was.

"Woo" I whispered. It broke me. He was clearly not okay. I could feel it in his voice. He was shocked and displeased.

Wooyoung pov:

How could this happen? I asked myself.

Nothing will be okay. My head was filled with pain, and it kept telling me over and over again that nothing is fine. That this was the beginning of something much worst.

It would start with a simple move, then a break, then a change of partner until WooSan become completely over.

"Wooyoung, you okay?" a sweet voice approached me. It was Seonghwa. He was the only one that knew about my anxiety. I usually find comfort talking to him about it but at the same time he was not San. Even if I decided to tell him, it was hard because he was the closest to me.

I sighed: "Yeah... I guess..." I took a breath "maybe a little not okay..." I smiled, looking up back at him. "I am sorry..." I ended saying almost feeling like crying.

"Hey! Why are you sorry Woo?" he came closer and sat next me. His hand embracing my back, living small comforting caresses. It felt relaxing. It felt needed.

The conversation went back and forth, and I ended up feeling better.  He reassured me that it was going to be fine. I wanted to believe him but I still had my doubts. But he was right. I should make it fine for now. 

My so-called smile was back, and I was feeling energized... enough to get me through the day.

We went back to rehearsing and I was doing better knowing that Seonghwa was here and that I could at any moment talk to him if it got too much. I tried my best to avoid looking at San that would stare at me from time to time. He wanted me to assure him that I was doing fine but how could I when I wasn't.

My parents used to call me a great liar but even a mastermind at lying has its limits.

Because it was San
I couldn't lie.
Because it was San
I was weak.
Because it was San
I just couldn't reassure him.

"Okay guys! It is time to practice the final move between San and Yeosang. Everyone takes a break and let's finalized today's rehearsals!" Hongjoong (captain for those that don't know) informed Ateez before grabbing his water bottle and drinking the entire thing.

I took a deep breath, went to the side of the room, far away from the scene that I was about to witness. I was NOT okay, but I had to be... for his sake, for everyone... for myself.

And here it goes again... I felt like escaping.

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This is the third chapter! I hope you liked it!
If you have any recommendations please feel free to suggest them to me! I'll take it into consideration!
Anyway please remember that this story will contain some heavy triggering stuff so please be advised to take care of yourself first!
Thank you for your support! 🖤🧡