◖Tears◗ Jake Webber X Johnnie Guilbert

5.Panic

Tw: Panic attack
Mention of slight self harm
(Biting finger) ^^^^^^

Johnnies pov:

I was getting ready to sleep, I was just sick and tired of everything going on.

I don't understand Tara, like.
What did I do?

I'm contemplating blocking her honestly.

But I know it would probably hurt Jake's feelings wouldn't it?

Ping
I heard my phone go off.

I picked it up and looked at the message.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

Tara: Johnnie.

Me: yep?

Tara: Fuck you

Me: dude wtf?

She didn't answer after that

What the fuck.

This is so stupid I'm so confused.

I blocked her and deleted her number but not before screen shorting the messages.

What did I do?

"Jake!" I shout, leaving my room to head to his to figure out what's going on.

I don't know why but I felt angry. 

Call me the 5 stages of grief with the way I'm acting right now.

I open his door, and he's biting his fingers, crying and breathing rapidly.

"Oh shit" I say running up to him, sitting beside him and grabbing his hand and pulling it from his mouth, bringing it down to his lap.

I hold his hand not wanting him to continue biting himself.

His finger is bleeding slightly.

He's having a panic attack I think.

"Jake, what's going on, are you okay, what's wrong?" I say bringing my free hand to his cheek wiping his tears and moving his hair out if his face.

He's not talking, he's just hyperventilating.

"Look at me, Jake please" I say.

His eyes meet with mine, he looks as if he saw a ghost.

"Breathe with me okay? In... "
I say breathing in, he matches me trying to do the same.

"Out" I say breathing out.

We do this for a few more seconds till he finally stops hyperventilating.

Calming down from his what I could only assume, panic attack.

He's only ever had panic attacks when he's drunk, and he looks sober now so this is definitely a first.

"What happened, Jake" I ask letting go of his hand that I was holding down so he wouldn't bite himself.

He just looks at me teary eyed, almost like he's unable to speak.

"Please Jake, talk to me, you know I just want to help you." I plead out, only wanting to help him and understand what's going on.

"Tara" He mumbled out.

He's still shaking.

"What about her?" I ask.

He shakes his head like he was disappointed, looking away and he rubs his eyes with his hands.

"Did she do something?" I ask.

I only want to help him.

He doesn't speak.

He does this when he's upset, he always goes nonverbal after something that really hurts him.

"It's okay. I understand, uhm.. Do you want something to eat? Water? Monster- actually that's probably not a good idea considering your heart rate is already up" I face palm myself in stupidity.

He giggles slightly at me.

I look at him.

"Uhmmm.. Okay, how about we just try to sleep and if you want we can talk about this in the morning? Right?" I ask, he looks at me and sighs out.

"Johnnie" He said whispering slightly.

I hum to let him know I'm listening.

"I..left her" He says whispering out.

"How come?"

"Rude?" He said, more like he was confused of what was going on.

"Okay, uhm, let's lay down okay? I'm gonna get you some water, is your head hurting or anything?" I say placing the back of my hand on his forehead to feel if he was warm then getting up from beside him.

He nods at me.

I don't know what to do, this isn't like Jake at all.
Like. I don't know I hope he will just talk about it tomorrow though.

I'm worried for him.

Jakes POV:

Johnnie walks out the room.

He looks worried for me.

I don't think I've ever had a panic attack like this before.
And if I have I was drunk as shit.

What is wrong with me.

I've never freaked out like that before.

I feel like my face is numb, like it's tingling pins and needles.

I blink multiple times trying to ground myself.

My eyes burn slightly.

"Fuck" I breath out running my fingers through my hair.

I can't believe I just did that, holy fuck.

Jesus fuck dude.

749 words

This is cringe sorry I'm running outa ideas lmao

-kall