forty eight

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  TARAJI

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  TARAJI

i woke up in a empty bed just as i would've thought. i don't know why i always fall for this woman who clearly doesn't care anything about me. she's gonna always run back to that Kaleidoscope bitch. her number was out of service, how could i be so stupid for this woman? then again i have to remember this is Fantasia we're talking about. as long as she gets what she wants her world is complete and it's fuck everyone else afterwards, but two can play that game.

anyway, i got up and did my morning ritual and went to see Kayla and the twins, her and Noah are asleep and Brooklyn is wide awake. i pick her up and proceed to the kitchen rocking her in my arms. Kayla is still a bit pissed at me about yesterday. i just wish she'd understand where i'm coming from as a mom who's already lost one child and wouldn't be able to handle losing another one. she still doesn't know about Coby and i have yet to tell her because i feel like she'll be disappointed at the fact that i was raising him and not her.

i fed Brooklyn, burped her and sat her down in the baby swing as i started breakfast. i wanted to do something nice for Kayla and just sit down and talk to her. i put my bacon on and proceeded to put my grits on, and yes i put sugar in grits... problem? oh ok it's quiet ain't no back talk. anywho, i threw some biscuits in the oven and prepared my eggs. i wanted it to be a huge breakfast although it's just me and little ole her.

"Good morning!" i shouted.

"Where's Brooklyn?" well ok forget the good morning then...

"Right there in the swing"

"Has she eaten?"

"Yes."

she rinsed Noah's bottle and grabbed his milk.

"Could we talk for a second?"

"There's nothing to talk about" .

"I just don't want you to be upset because of me or upset period. All I want is for you and my grandkids to be safe"

"Mama I understand that, but it's like you want us to be cooped up in here all day everyday and we not doing that because of your fear of losing one of us, that's not a way to live! We all have to die someday so why live your life in fear?"

"I just can't- I can't afford to lose another child"

"What?"

"Nothing, um.. do you wanna eat?"

"No! What do you mean another child?"

saved by Brooklyn's cry. i went to pick her up, by the time i turned around Kayla was going back into her room. hopefully she forgets all about what i just said.

a knock came upon the door... to my surprise it was Lilly.

"Kehlani!!"

"Wassup Kayla baby. Damn she was what? Ten the last time I saw her, you got all big now"

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