When going back, I put on my earpiece to listen "enough of me of Rachel grae" . I almost cried 'cause I am asking myself why am I the only one to be bullied? As Rachel said
" I gave you everything So what more do you need? What did you find in them You couldn't find in me? Oh"
She's talking of her heartbreak but the chorus made me think of the Ahmÿ I was, always smiling and later on unloved as if I was the shit of an animal to be avoided at All cost.
Why this difference? I gave you everything, so what more do you need?? I socialized and later received mockeries. What did you saw in others that you haven't seen in me?? Because I'm black?? Is it my color?? I even had to scrub my body so hard hoping to make that black color disappear just to look like you. The truth was so blatant, I only managed to hurt myself. I cried so much that I said to myself, "To change for you is to be a prisoner of my own hypocrisy"
I'm tired....... I don't wanna go to give them the impression that they have won. Rachel said " then my only question is why?" One day I'll need explanations because it has never been a taboo to be Black or to have different opinions.
On entering my house I saw my father discussing with my aunty and later on head my sistou running down stairs while shouting my name. She's the only person who knows how to make me smile. I just immediately erased the bead that was falling on my cheek. As I always say she is my sunlight during the day and the star ✨ which takes care of me at night. Since she's so curious........ She took one of my earpiece and saw that I was listening 'enough of me' and she just said
Her: I found your perfect soul (while giving a kiss to my cheek)
Infact her name is Akhima and she has 15 balls 👇
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She's just exactly 15 months 3days behind me😁. I know it's funny but I am very specific nearly faddy.
She's not schooling here because my aunt was feeling lonely because her daughters are living in mozambica. It's good like this because I don't want her to suffer like me. In her school she's not the only black and it's seen as a taboo to violate students.
For my case, I decided to stay with my father because I think he can surrender at any time and just throw in the towel. I think that the fact of seeing my face everyday makes him realize that he is important. I don't wanna leave him in depression, if he feels something similar, I just want to live it with him.
We've spent the whole day talking, she'll be spending the weekend here until Monday afternoon because she only has school on Tuesday. Since she's my star, she started fiddling with my phone when I was in the bathroom. When I went out, she let me know that a guy named Afis asked if he could pick me up on Monday so we could go to school.
