-*| The Cursed World |*-

Chapter Sixteen: Doing their Dirty Laundry

I've spent awhile here now. Each heartbeat I spend here turns into a blur. All memories just all blend together, and time is increasing at a speed too fast for me. I can no longer count the days since Clover and I moved here.

Clover.

I have seen her in the halls, while doing chores. Always so close, and yet so far. She has changed a lot now, with a bit of a belly. That is my fault.

I will myself to go talk to her. Just to say anything to her. However, a deep fear in me always holds me back. I'm a coward.

We are always watched. Whether it be the children, the wives, or Lord Sun, there is almost no privacy. I get time by myself when I go to bathe, and since I am impure, Lord Sun leaves me alone.

...For that, I am grateful. I don't see it, but I hear it. We are told we work with the sinful, and are naturally more lustful than men. I don't think it's all that true.

The me from before would think we would be quite lonely. Yes, sometimes I am. I got my friends though — Two! Mus, and Bean.

Two friendships that could endanger us. Still, they are good people. I like them.

I still sometimes get that funny feeling around Bean. Sometimes it gets too intense, so I have to look away for a bit. That makes our time together a bit more awkward. I want to ask him if he gets that too, but I feel that would make for a more-awkward situation.

It's risky to hang out with Bean. We usually do it at night or early morning, because no one is up at night or early morning.

It is also risky to hang out with Mus, but less. He is Lord Sun's oldest son, so he has a say in the family hierarchy. Unlike Lord Sun, Mus does not abuse his power. He doesn't like the whole family, dirty-coat verses white-coat thing.

I find it strange that both of my friends, and Clover, who used to be my best friend, are against our system. I do not understand why. From a very young age, we have always been told that this is how life is. It is our spine that holds us together, and without that spine, what is there to hold us up?

'I'm done thinking about human nature,' I decide, and so I stop thinking about it, as I am a girl true to my word.

I was doing the laundry. We have this large tub-like thing filled with soapy water. To clean clothes, I have to scrub them against the walls of our tub. Then I hang them to dry. This is one of the only times I am allowed outside, other than when I break the rules, because of my untamable need to not be a lonely mouse.

So, here I go. I'm carrying the bundle of the wet clothes. This is a hefty job. My arms ache from the sheer weight of each small piece of cloth, knit together.

'By itself, a garment is light, but overtime if you let it sit there and stack, suddenly one piece of clothing turns into a pile. A very heavy, hard to carry, pile.' I think.

That feels like a lesson; one that I should probably listen to. Then again, I am a girl, so I need to clean this and stop thinking about things like that!

'Focus, focus, focus, focus, focus, focus, focus, focus, focus, focus...'

I am almost there, when I see Lord Sun accompanied by a couple of his wives. He watches as they clean off some dishes. They all laugh merrily, and I see them holding a few jugs of, uh, who knows what.

"Oh look!" One of them, who wears a light pink dress, remarks and points to me.

To me, they all look the same now. Besides Clover. Even if she does join them in their talks, I will always be able to recognize her.

Another adds, "Looks like dirty-eyes is doing our dirty laundry,"

I give them a smile, and free one of my hands to also give a wave. "Hello!"

Lord Sun then turns towards me. He is wobbly again. He sets down his cup, but it accidentally slips, and breaks. I wince. He shoos off of the two wives to go clean it up.

"Where are you going?" He mutters.

"Oh, I am just going outside to—" I begin, but I'm quickly cut off.

"Outside?" The man suddenly snaps, "Why outside? Stupid woman, you do not go outside."

I look down at the large pile of laundry. My arms feel weaker now, so I have to shift the weight to keep it all from spilling out. Don't want to make a mess!

I give a hesitant laugh, "I have to go set the clothes on the line so they will dry," I explain.

He stumbles closer, "You tryin' to run away, little girl?" Lord Sun slurs.

"What?" I retort, "No! Of course not!"

"Don't raise your tone. I'm the man here. I'm in charge." Lord Sun makes this clear by stamping his foot after each statement.

I give a small nod, but then he continues. "I saw you trying to escape. Don't ever think, for one moment, that your sinful gender will amount to more than your husband." The ending ends with a hiss.

I am confused by what he means, so I ask, with my stupid little mouth, "What does that mean?"

"What does that mean?" He had started to turn away, but now faced me again.

He laughed, a sick, strange cackle. Lord Sun stood barely at my height, and yet now he seemed so.. tall. I take a few steps backwards. My heart races at increasing speeds.

He stamps over my footprints by walking closer. I pull the damp laundry closer to me, in a way to hug myself. It offers a bit of comfort.

"What does that mean?" He cackles again. "Wow, you really are one—"

"Dad?"

Suddenly, Mus enters the room. From the wives, to the birds outside, to a couple dirty-coats in the fields, then to Lord Sun and myself — We all stop. Mus had talked before on how he disliked the system, but pure... Astonishment? All reflected in his crystal-like, see through eyes.

"I.." His father cannot find anything to say for a bit. Then, as quickly as Mus came into the room, he turns this on me. "Get out of here, you filthy eyed slut! Go outside or something, go shove that worthless, horrible, demonic face of yours in the outside dirt you so desperately want to go to!"

"I—"

He snaps harder, "Go! You imbecile, I said go!"

He, then, shoves me outside. His wandering hand find its way on my butt while he pushes me out the door. It slams behind me, but I still hear and see him pointing at me and shouting words I don't really want to repeat.

I am used as an excuse to get out of being seen as a bad image. I am used as a toy, to release stress on. I am made fun of, I am hit, I am scorned, all just for having impure eyes.

I can't imagine what would happen if my wig slipped off. If I revealed my long, so dirty, it is —black— hair; shown to the world.

'Andd that is why we stay away from them,' I hear a voice in my head tell me.