An Initiates Baby

Chapter Six - Haunting Me

Sighs and groans clouded my thoughts and it effected me. My dreams were always of him and that night, he wouldn't leave my dreams and thoughts. It was like he knew I was pregnant and wanted to be with me, but this was just a dream, this wasn't real.

"Mm, Baby-girl." I heard his voice moan, and I shiver. My skin was on fire, everything was heating up. Hands grabbed and groped, I couldn't get enough of it. All of a sudden, his hands wrapped around my throat, my eyes opened to see him sat on my waist, pinning me against the bed.

"So I managed to get a whore pregnant, huh?" He questioned as I gasped, trying to get some air into my lungs, then my hands began to pull at his around my throat, I couldn't stop him.

"I guess I can fix that problem.." I heard his voice echo out as everything went black.

I gasped when I woke up, drenched in sweat. I swept my hair back and got out of bed to get a drink. I was stood look out the window for a while as calmed down, noticing lights in the distance, but I was too jittery and tired to think anything of it, it could've been Erudite for all I knew. It was nearing 2AM when I got a knock on my door, it seemed timid, almost like they were scared to knock.

I quickly make my way over, and nearly collapse when I see Eric stood there, only in his pajama bottoms and shirtless, my mental self cheered.

"Are you okay?" I asked him and he nodded, scratching the back of his neck, a nervous tick I've noticed.

"Can we talk about that night?" He asked me and I bit my lip before looking up and down the corridor, seeing if anyone else was around at this time, I knew people would be in the control room, checking the cameras so I knew he would've been caught for this. Damn.

"Uh, we'll talk later in the morning, it's just that its 2 in the morning and I can't really invite you in, plus the cameras would've caught you coming here and it would've been suspicious, we'll talk after your simulations." I said and he nodded, "Good morning, by the way." I joke before shutting my door as he makes his way back to the other initiates.

I eventually went back to sleep, awaking around 7AM, rushing down for food before I felt the queasy feeling that seemed to never leave before starting the simulations with the initiates. Four seemed to fly through them again, getting through what seemed like the hardest situations.

I never brought up the fear of Marcus Eaton, the Abnegation leader. It wasn't my place. Amar was off sick so I was the only one working the simulations for today, I didn't mind much, it gave me time to think of what I would say to Eric and how I would tell him I was pregnant, if I was going to, I couldn't make up my mind about that, the dream last night really messed with my head.

"Eric." I call out, waving him into the sim room, he closes the door behind him as I hook up the computer to him and hand him the fluid and watch his fears come up on the screen as he fights through them. Another one comes up on the screen that makes me feel sick.

I'm in his simulation, and I'm telling him I love him, and he's freaking out, tell me I can't love him, no matter how he feels for me. He's literally scared of falling in love. The simulation me suddenly turns angry and starts crying and screaming at him, he's just stood there watching me scream and trying to him, he calms the simulation me down and the next fear comes, I don't bother to watch it, and just enter the data once he's finished, he's quick, but not as quick as Four.

He sits there and I enter the data, I glance up, seeing him watch me. His arms are crossed over his chest.

"So, are we going to talk?" He asks me and I nod, giving him my full attention.
I think about the fear I just witness and decide to not tell him about the pregnancy, if I don't tie him down to me I won't fall in love with him and he won't fall in love with me, right?

"I uh, I think whatever happened between us should be forgotten." I said and look at him, his face with straight, not giving away emotions. He nods and leaves the room without any words towards me.

My hands shake as I call another initiate inside.

That night I'm in the pit, using the coolness of the room to my advantage, in constantly warm, not being able to cool down, so I'm always looking for something cold, and what's better than stone and iced water. I hear cheers and laughs coming closer and Eric and some other initiates are making their rounds around the compound.

Eric glances over at me for split second and I don't do anything but what the group as they leave the pit, wondering if what I did was the right thing after all.

I head to the apartment early and crash into bed, I didn't want to hang around tonight, I just wanted to sleep, without dreams.