An Initiates Baby

Chapter Eleven - Figure

I sighed as I looked at myself in the mirror, I was nearing the 4 months mark in the pregnancy and it was definite that people would notice from now onwards, it wasn't something I'd be able to hide now, not with this bump becoming bigger what seemed like each hour. In reality, it was more like every other day, but it took it's toll on my confidence, my figure looked funny, I didn't feel as great as I did months ago. I groaned and threw on a baggy shirt, then turned to find Eric in the doorway of the bathroom. Since that night when I locked him out of the apartment for most of the day, he'd tried to keep his attitude under control, he was getting more cold with each people each day that passed, each day getting him closer to leadership, he was still the same old Eric to me, but I could tell the change in his demeanour and how he approaches things, he doesn't smile as much in public, even with me, I'm lucky if I get a grin from him, but once we're home, it's like he never changed.

We've had arguments here and there about this but he's always telling me that it's just how it's going down with him, that now he's Dauntless, he's going to act like it, I try to tell him that being Dauntless isn't just being serious all the time and being so cold, I almost cried that night because it was like I couldn't get through to him and it killed me because I thought I was the only one who could talk him out of stupid things, but I couldn't even tell him that he was becoming a whole new person before my eyes, it was like I was living and having a child with a stranger. For a while, we were estranged from each other, only seeing each other in bed at night and for a few minutes during the morning, but that changed when he came to the shop one day promising change, and then he slowly became the Eric I knew once again.   

This period in time was like the calm before the storm, this was the time where everything was okay.

"What's wrong?" He questioned, looking down at me, checking me over to see if anything was wrong.

"I look horrible, I'm all disproportionate and fat, look at this!" I say, holding onto my stomach, "This is huge, and I'm only 4 months, imagine what I'd look at 8!" I complain, feeling the urge to stomp my feet against the tile. He rubbed his face with his hands and sighed, before looking at me again.

"You look fine, beautiful even, why are you worrying about this?" He asked, as if I just told him I had found the secret to why humans were created. His face looked incredulous. I stopped everything and just looked at him, feeling the need to cry, another thing about pregnancy, you feel like you want to cry every other minute, whether its happily and or sadly, you just want to cry all the time. You can't help it. Eric stares at me and just walks over to me, wrapping his arms around me, his head resting on-top of mine, I feel his lips touch the top of my head for a brief moment.

"You're pregnant, of course you're body is going to get bigger, but it's for our child that's in there, you're not fat and even if you did get some fat from this, it's totally normal and you would be able to still kick ass and loose it afterwards, and only afterwards and when you've got the all clear from the doctor." He said, his arms tightening around me.

"Mister Erudite over here." I joked, trying to stop myself from crying over his words, he could make me feel better just from his words, his actions depending on what he did. I felt him laugh a little and his lips hit my cheek before leaving me alone in the room with my thoughts. I frowned to myself and followed Eric into the other room, noticing the tons amount of papers around the room, what could Eric be reading, I pick up one of the files laying around and peak inside, then giving up when I see the tons of words among the pages.

"What even is all this?" I say as I look around, Eric looks up at me for a moment then looks back down at a piece of paper, his eyes skimming over the page.

"It's a bunch of Dauntless files from all the initiations, I have to read them as apart of becoming leader, I have to know most of the history to Dauntless and to perfect how to train initiations by looking back on the past initiations, it's tiring." He explains, and I nod with furrowed eyebrows, why would all these need to be read by soon-to-be-leaders? This idiotic.

"That's a bit much isn't it?" I ask and he shrugs, I sigh and head out of the apartment, I don't hear Eric's calls for me so I just continue, knowing he probably didn't realise that I had left. I head down to the shop and sit around with Tori, watching as she tattooed and pierced people that came by. Since I was pregnant, I wasn't around the tattooing machines as much for safety reasons. I sighed as I watched Tori set up a machine for another client, she glanced over to me for a moment.

"What's wrong?" She asked, turning to face me once it was ready and working. I looked up at her and frowned.

"It's Eric." I mumbled and she nods, she knew what had been going between us lately and just advised that it was a rough patch in the relationship. But it was hard when someone was literally becoming someone else before your eyes, did I even love him anymore?

"I just don't know what to do anymore." I state, and she pats my shoulder, before going back to the client.