When Night And Day Become One

|| Eighteen ||

For the next few months, I became a walking zombie. Lu Han and Hannah did their best to return the life to my face but I just couldn't get myself to smile. Kai's departure in life had taken its toll on me and I had refused to go out, afraid of getting hurt by the littlest things.

"Yeon! Just when are you going to move on?" Lu Han yelled at me one day while we were walking home. Hannah had asked me to go hang out at the lake, to take a walk after school but I had refused and Lu Han was furious at the fact that I was keeping to myself more and more.

"What do you mean Lu Han? I had moved on," I asked, feigning innocence, knowing fully well that he would see through my lies.

"Really? When you don't even care what I do, what Hannah does, what everyone around you does for that matter?"

I shrugged and kept walking. These days I didn't have the energy to fight with Lu Han.

He sighed in frustration as he matched the rhythm of my steps. "When was even the last time we went to the treehouse?"

I didn't exactly want to go there. Of all places, I was afraid of the treehouse the most. I was afraid that it would do its magic on me, and I would be forced to feel again.

I actually liked the feeling of being numb to everything. It was a defense mechanism, one that sprang out of nowhere ever since Kai left without turning back.

I knew I was hurting Hannah, Lu Han, and those who tried to show the slightest of concern. But I didn't care. I didn't want to care. And I was glad my self was finally listening to me.

"Yeon," Lu Han said and reached out to my hand to stop me. "This has to stop, okay?"

He tugged me gently towards him and I almost felt guilty for the hurt look in his eyes when I saw them. Almost.

I gently pried his hands off and just shook my head. There were no other words to say other than I didn't want to. And I had feeling Lu Han wouldn't like that so I chose so kept quiet.

"Yeon. Please."

I glanced at the now orangey sky, away from his pleading gaze. "Let's just go home, okay? The sun is setting. It'll be dark soon."

Instead of giving up like what I had hoped he would do, Lu Han's eyes suddenly shone with determination. "Exactly, Yeon. It's sunset."

Lu Han took my hand again and started pulling me to who knows where. A bad feeling settled at the base of my stomach when I realized we were heading to the forest's entrance by the lake. Of course, I knew where Lu Han was taking me. My feet immediately screeched to a halt upon realizing it we were heading to the treehouse.

I knew Lu Han was trying to let me see what I was missing. But I didn't want to. Because the truth was clear. I didn't want to be healed. I didn't want to begin again because if I did, somewhere along the way, I knew I would get hurt again. If I stayed the way I was now, nothing but an empty shell and numb to complicated feelings, then I wouldn't suffer in any way.

But Lu Han was stubborn and continued dragging me, and since he was the stronger one out of the two of us, I had to continue walking.

We climbed our way towards the treehouse and as fate would have it, we were just in time to see the sunset. I immediately closed my eyes, afraid the beauty before me would get to me and eventually make me realize things.

But Lu Han was stubborn. I think I mentioned that already, but yes he was.

"Yeon, open your eyes," he commanded.

But I shook my head and my eyes remained tightly shut.

I felt Lu Han moved behind me and something warm suddenly touched my ear. "Do you want me to kiss you or are you going to open your eyes?" he whispered so softly his words didn't sound like a threat at all.