Fourteen: Diversion

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A/N: Although I am not on my writing schedule here is this, on my usual Thursday (Although I messed it up so it's not really my usual Thursday but shush). Also, there will be a special on the 25th because of Soarin's birthday!! Sweet thing <3

Enjoy, votes and comments are appreciated. As usual, I love specific reactions!

Adjusting to the silence was not difficult. The amount of glares swiftly decreased and it seemed as if the entire Facility got slightly brighter. The stress lifted but the lingering nausea remained. None of us knew what to think.

Geoffrey was not our friend, in fact some of us could go as far as to consider him our enemy. It felt wrong to feel anything towards the event. Sympathy felt phony, relief or happiness felt twisted. Instead we chose to be silent. What were we supposed to feel?

"Someone even worse could replace him." Lynette muttered at lunch the next week.

That was it. That was what we were supposed to feel. Objectively we should have looked at how the situation affected us, no matter how apathetic our outlook is. Geoffrey's death meant only that he would be replaced, which meant we could receive more compassion or more cruelty. That was how we were  supposed to look at this event.

I couldn't do it.

"It's my fault." I whispered to the silent lunch table.

No one answered. It confirmed my suspicions. Then a soft and broken voice shattered my shield of self-hatred.

"No." Chance's hand rested on my arm. "He died because of me. I pounded on him. His eye swelled shut, he wouldn't have been able to see. His death is on my shoulders."

I wanted so much to believe that it wasn't my fault but my heart extended to him.

"You're wrong." I moved my hand to rest on his instead. "You can't take all the burden. I was there."

"We have to consider the field as well." Mallory pushed a lump of mashed potatoes across her plate in a circle. "There are far too many variables for it to be either of your faults. Deaths in the field are the result of a miscalculation by the team."

Somehow that didn't make me feel better, and Chance didn't look any less pale. Mallory seemed content though, only showing the slightest doubt in the undeserved burning glower she gave her potatoes.

February eleventh brought with it the new field assignment, they seemed to be coming more and more frequently. I collected my materials and followed the directions on the message instructing me to go to East Simulation Room #1 this time. I snagged and scarfed down some food without even realizing what it was this time.

This was the last simulated mock field assignment, after this we would go out and perform true missions. Missions like the one Geoffrey died on, like the one that killed my brother. They would be simple missions of course, left to the beginner trainees because of a lack of personnel or importance. This last assignment would determine whether all of us went on the first mission to the outside world. It was the highest stakes we had ever had because if we passed we would be able to see the real sun for the first time in seven months.

I jogged to the simulation room, a nervous soupy liquid filling my stomach prompting me to slow down so as to not throw up. Slowed to a fast walking pace, I squinted at the two figures in the distance. Rex and Chance had somehow gotten to the room before me. I planted my feet down in front of the daunting doorway.

"Any instruction on what we're supposed to do yet?" I asked them.

Rex shook his head. Chance indicted his neck towards the hallway behind me. I turned slowly and saw Lautrec slowly strolling towards us. He looked like he would rather be doing anything else.

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