Without You (Book 2 of The Blue Star) OUAT

Protecting A Heart

Chapter 13

*Solstice*

"Solstice you can't do this!" Cyrus shouted from behind me as I walked down the castle halls. I turned to face him, "I have to do this." I answered. "I have to get my memories back."

A day had gone by since my discussion with Baelfire. Since he couldn't help me get back my memories, I had to go back to Neverland in hopes of Peter assisting me. I just told Cyrus of my plan and he flipped out. He didn't want me going back.

"I'm not letting you throw yourself back to Neverland! I remember having to watch you down there, crying to yourself wishing you never would've left the sky."

His words left me shocked, "what? Y-You were watching me?"

Cyrus didn't say anything.

"If you were watching me, then you could've seen what happened while I was on Neverland! Cyrus! Do you know what happened? Help me, please." Desperation filled my voice as I pleaded with Cyrus.

He sighed, shaking his head. "I don't know, I'm sorry. I only got to see you once on Neverland. Pan must've used magic to block my vision from watching in the sky."

"Are you so sure it was Pan?" I questioned with my eyebrow raised.

"All I know is what I've seen and heard of him. Shine used to say he was a really bad guy." Cyrus answered with a sad expression.

My heart broke at the mention of Shine's name. I remembered her as wise and determined, yet I remembered how I thought she didn't care about me. How wrong I was.

Just then I felt Cyrus's hand lock with mine, pulling me away from my thoughts. His gentle fingers lightly squeezed mine as he looked at me with his gold eyes. "Please don't leave. I-I can't lose you again."

His words left my heart fluttering. I never knew he cared so much. I bit my lip and looked up at him, "I'm sorry but I have to do this."

A moment passed until Cyrus's face became stern. He then replied in a sorrowful voice; "then I'm going with you."

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*Baelfire*

I was in the hanger, waiting for Solstice and Cyrus so we could board her ship and leave for Neverland, when a sudden wave of imaginary pain crashed into me. My heart was heavy, feeling as if it would disintegrate at any moment.

Sol didn't love me. I hadn't felt that much heart break ever since my papa left me. How could a heart that had been broken over and over ever be mended again? There are too many broken pieces.

The sounds of busy repairmen, engines sputtering, and chatter of the workmen  around me was drowned out by my thoughts. I didn't know how I could live without Solstice. I was shattered. I thought my papa loved me, but in the end he chose magic over his own son. And my mother—who left my papa and I to fend for ourselves. She left us for that bloody pirate Captain Hook. I hated all of them. I hated my papa, I hated my mother, I hated Hook, and I hated Pan. Each of them had taken something away from me—something which seemed I'd never get back.

"Baelfire." a familiar voice called out.

I looked up and saw the twenty year old Cyrus walking toward me. His black hair was ruffled as if he'd been running his hands through it. His dark skin seemed lighter than usual, as if he was going pale.

"Baelfire I need to talk to you." His rough voice was commanding. Frankly he kind of scared me so I nodded.

"What is it?" I asked with uncertainty.

"I need to tell you this before Solstice gets here." He looked over his shoulder as if searching for someone. He looked back at me after a few moments, "I just want to say that I know you're telling the truth about everything."

My eyebrows shot up in surprise, "what?"

"I know you're telling the truth. I know you never did anything bad to Solstice, except that time with Wendy—"

"That was not my fault!" I cut him off with a glare. "Wendy came after me."

"Yet we'll never know if you would've given in to her, thanks to Solstice." Cyrus stared blankly at me.

I looked down, "I never meant to hurt her." But I suddenly lifted my head to meet his gaze, "wait, I thought you guys already came to the conclusion of me telling the truth? Doesn't Solstice believe me?"

Cyrus answered with a heavy sigh, "For now she does. But I sense she has her doubts. That's why she's going back to Neverland so she can be sure of what you're saying is true."

"Well, if you know I'm telling the truth then why haven't you told Solstice yet? How do you know I'm not lying to you anyway?"

Cyrus gave a slight chuckle, "Stars have this special gift. When we're up here in the sky, we can see what's happening down on the ground. Ever since we found out Solstice was on Neverland, I had been watching her and everyone else on the island. I know what you're saying is true."

"Then why haven't you told her!?" Anger and anxiety began to bubble up within my chest. I wasn't sure why he hadn't told her, or even why he acted like he didn't know, but I wanted answers.

"Because I have to protect her." Cyrus replied coolly, "I'm a knight of the palace—that's my job. I am one of her oldest friends and I will not hurt her. When I found out she thought you were the one who ruined her life, I decided to let her keep thinking that way. If she knew the truth she won't ever be the same again. I saw how miserable she was—I saw how she tried to take her own life. I couldn't do anything to stop it. I was supposed to be the one to protect her and I failed." His gaze stiffened, "I won't fail her again."

"You bastard!" Fury exploded in my chest as I yelled at the man, "how could you do that!? She has a right to know what happened to her!"

"If she finds out everything that has happened she'll end up depressed! She'll remember everything. She'll remember how she lost her magic and how unbearable it was for her! She'll remember how Pan led her on and broke her heart! She'll remember how Shine and Dylan died—how Pan ripped out Shine's heart in front of her! She'll remember Cale's attacks and how he played her! And she'll remember you, the boy who's loyalty is questionable. Tell me, do you want her to remember all of that?"

I shook my head in irritation, "it doesn't matter! Those things happened. It's not our choice to make weather or not we keep those things hidden from her! Yes, many of those things were bad memories, but they happened. Our experiences make us stronger. How can we take that away from her when we have the opportunity to give it back and let her find clarity?"

Cyrus's face went blank again, leaving nothing in his features. "I am sorry but I won't risk losing her again."

"Who are you waiting for? The girl she used to be is gone! And we have Pan to thank for that. Now, she believes she loves the monster who took everything away from her. How is that not hurting her?"

The slightest bit of anger flashed across his face but Cyrus soon hid it away. "You must understand that this is the best for her."

I shook my head and gritted my teeth. "Then you don't know her at all."