Stars of Varda - An Elven Love Story (Thranduil)

35. Twilight and Shadow

For several moments, or several sunless days, I stand alone in his chambers. Somber candles flicker on the dark beech table, the unfurled map of Lórien abandoned. The hearth fire's warm light fades like the last days of summer, along with its clucking crackle. I do not know time anymore. It is lost to me.

It is not until the guard from my Aur en-Onnad walks through the doors when I find it again, and remember I need to tell Gwendes the news. I promised I would.

"Are you well, my lady? I did not see you leave..."

I wipe at my eyes before lifting them to the guard. His brows push together, noting the evidence of my hurt. "I am going now. Hannon-le."

My mind is leagues away, but my feet have memorized the direction. I allow them to guide me through the winding halls, now crowded with Sindar soldiers, and out the keep doors into the deepening twilight. The chilly air pierces through my green wool cloak.

If it was any other night, I would not venture out so late, but the grounds are covered in a vast number preparing for battle. There will be no curfew. They will continue until dawn, forgoing rest.

Blades will be sharpened, arrows made, supplies gathered, horses saddled and bridled. Those who have not recently used their sword arm will practice without ceasing. The soldiers have not seen combat since the Battle of Five Armies over half a century ago. Some have not seen combat at all.

I cross the river bridge and near the busy practice grounds, hearing Tauriel's voice over sharp clangs of steel and energetic murmurs. I pause for a moment to watch her teach hasty lessons to the younger Elves who are trained but not battle-ready. I suspect Tauriel knows, more than I, that battle cannot be learned from words alone.

I walk on and reach the village center. A throng stands in the lamp-lit courtyard seeking fellowship, the grave tidings having sent them from their warm homes, their suppers forgotten. I search for Gwendes but do not see her. Fragments of conversation reach my ears, of sons and daughters riding to battle, of surprise that the King will send aid, of a certain death for all...

The fountain continues to play as though the world is not ending. One of the twin children sits on its stone ledge, his round face watching the bubbling water. How is it possible only a few hours have passed since Ferdir arrived and I told the children to go home for supper?

Again my heart thumps painfully as my thoughts return to the exchange with Thranduil. I wonder where he is now. I imagine him somewhere in the keep giving more orders, his voice as commanding and unyielding as it had been to me. I still feel his breath on my cheek, and hear his words clearer than tonight's sky. "It would kill me."

The arched windows of the chandlery are unlit, its occupants having joined the courtyard crowd. I turn down the shadowed path at its corner. With the commotion from the villagers, Gwendes and her family likely know. But my promise keeps me walking, and I inhale a deep breath as I climb the stairs to her cottage door. I must remain strong.

Gwendes opens the door before I can reach it, letting out a buttery light and the smell of cinnamon. Her mouth is parted, her pretty features lined with concern. I suddenly recall the first time I came here, and how different the circumstances. The ordeal regarding Elros feels like something from another life.

"Are we going to war?"

Gilrin and Tadion join their daughter in the doorframe. I can tell from their grim expressions they already know my answer.

"The army leaves at dawn. Lórien has been attacked by Dol Guldur. The King will ride with them."

"And so shall I." Tadion's voice brooks no argument. He crosses his arms.

Gilrin whips around to face him, her cheeks as red as her hair. "You have not seen battle since the fire-drake at Gundabad! I will not allow it!"

"You will not be able to stop me, Gilrin."

Judging by his weary tone, I guess their argument an old one. Gwendes starts down the steps and takes my elbow, leading me to the road, away from her parents' raised voices. She flashes a look of apology on their behalf.

"We already guessed the news." She clings to my arm like a child to a blanket. "When you did not come I became even more concerned, and wondered if you were well..."

"I apologize, mellon. I lost sense of time."

How long had I stood in Thranduil's chambers after he left? How long had I tried to reign in my emotions, to process his words?

A crease forms between Gwendes' brow. "You look troubled. Were...were you crying?"

"Tis no wonder," Gilrin mercifully interjects, joining us on the road. "This is grievous news to all. There will be many tears when our loved ones do not return, and no comfort to be given."

"Nana, please..."

"We have already experienced a great loss." Gilrin looks up at her husband, who stands poised at the door with his arms still crossed. "I cannot bear it again. We should pack our belongings tonight and journey to the Grey Havens ere it is too late..."

"I have cousins in Lórien. I will not abandon them in their time of need. You lack such faith in me--"

A shrill noise rents the air, stealing the remainder of his words. The Woodland horn reverberates through the forest like an unearthly bird call.

Ice jolts down my spine. Gwendes tightens her grip until I can no longer feel my arm. Tadion flies down the stairs to reach us.

The ominous horn sounds again, so loud I can feel the vibration in the deep of my chest. My eyes sting. The distant rings of steel and murmurs from the courtyard are silenced. The world becomes still, as though all living things have been removed. I can only hear blood thrumming in my ears.

"It is the guard giving the warning," says Tadion. "We will not ride out tomorrow to war. War is already upon us."

Once more the horn sounds, and then remains silent.

A/N:  I'm....sorry. But not really. ;) Don't worry, you'll have another update before the end of the week! Thanks so much to each and every one of you. I could do a bunch of mentions, but you know who you are, and I hope you know I love you. When I first started posting this story I honestly didn't know if anyone would ever read it. It was at the bottom here, the very bottom. So it's been a happy surprise that I now have such a loyal group of readers.