✗Simon

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You were walking towards your sister's room who asked for a small gathering with your other Shadowhunter friends. You arrive at the room as everyone was already there, greeting you as you entered.
"So what's the deal?" Jace speaks up as Clary firmly nods.
"I'm going to get Simon back." Clary looks at us "I can't stand back, seeing my best friend with those blood sucking creatures."
"Side note, he's one of them." Alec snaps as Jace glares at him.
"He isn't, he's still Simon." She turns to me "Our Simon." She whispers as Alec rolls his eyes "Please Izzy, Jace." She faces them as Izzy exchanged some glances with Jace.
"Look Clary we ca-" Jace stops himself, seeing Clary her puppy dog eyes "What is your plan?" He sighs.
"Don't tell me you're down with this." Alec spits "We're going to break at least eighteen rules."
"He's right." You support Alec "I love Simon as much you do but he's a downworlder now." You reason "If The Clave finds out that we're having some family reunion with vampires-"
"They won't find out." Clary states "Please." Your sister looks at you as you just couldn't turn her down.
You were Clary's little sister by one year and even though you were the younger one, you were definitely the more strict and serious one. You loved being a Shadowhunter and going on missions as long everything went by the rules, unlike your big sister.
At the end of the day, Jace agreed to help Clary with ther plan to get Simon back. Making Izzy agree who forced you so you could talk Alec into it too.
It was now one hour before your guys were planning on leaving the institute to go on this rescue mission, you were looking in the armory section. picking the right weapon for this mission.
"You know this is wrong too." You turn around as you meet Alec his gaze "I know we think the same and you don't approve this mission either."
"She's my sister, what was I supposed to say?"
"No." Alec simply answers.
"We're not all heartless pricks." You snap, walking away from the armory section as Alec followed your steps.
"C'mon Y/n, you're the last reasonable person in here." He whines "You understand that I can't risk my family name, breaking the rules for some best friend tragedy."
You rolled your eyes, turning around as you faced Alec again "Of course I understand you." You reason "And you know, that I think you're right but.." You stopped "I can't sit here and lecture my sister as she is crying her eyes out for her best friend.
Even though you were fully behind Alec his statement, you couldn't let your sister down. She was always the one who supported you, now it was your time to show your support.
It was around midnight when you were all standing outside Hotel Dumort, waiting for Raphael Santiago to show his face.
"Clary?" Your and the others their heads turned direction the voice of your sister's best friend.
"Simon." Clary whispers as she hugs him, making Jace shift in his position as he turned to the other way.
You were distracted from their conversation as you saw Raphael coming out of the hotel "Well, well, well." He speaks looking at you "Clary never told me she had a sister looking this hot." He walks over to you "And believe me, I can tell cause I'm colder than an icicle in the North Pole."
"Raphael." He stretches out his hand as you take it, shaking it. Even though you heard al lot of him, you never had met the guy before.
"Y/n." You replied as he kisses the top of your hand, stopping as Alec behind you cleared his throat.
"Women like you make me feel alive." He winks as you pull your hand back, giving him a fake smile.
Alright, not going to lie, he was a good looking vampire but you had your mind already set on someone else. Besides, you would never date a vampire cause it was against the rules.
"Tell me." Raphael starts "What's up with all these Shadowhunters standing outside my hotel past midnight?"
"We want Simon back." Clary walks over at you and Raphael.
"She, wants Simon back." Alec lifts his voice.
"We had a deal." Raphael states "Not to mention that your best friend over here, volunteered himself."
"I know." Clary states "But he can't stay here." She looks at Raphael as he smirks.
"Neither with you." He mocks "Isn't there some hallowed ground that makes it impossible for a vampire to crash at your little home?"
"I'll figure something out." She snaps as she turns to Simon.
"Clary it's okay." Simon speaks "They are my family now."
"No, they are not." She starts to tear up as Alec heavily sighs, getting a lightly push from his sister "I am." She states.
"You don't understand." Simon his voice cracks "You're a Shadowhunter and I'm a downworlder, which means we can't-"
"Please." Clary pleads as tears start to roll down her cheek as Jace places his arm around her shoulder.
"I can't be here, anymore." Alec states, waving his hands as he starts to walk to the opposite direction.
And even though your mind told you to stay at Clary her side for her comfort. Your heart had other plans as you followed Alec, walking away from the scene.
"Alec." You call after him as he ignored you "Alec." You placed your hand on his shoulder as you turn him so he faced you.
"You can't just walk off like that." You state as he avoids eye contact "Sure, you want to ignore me." You scoff as you shake your head, as you knew this was wasted time.
Before you could turn around, Alec grabbed your wirst "Wait." He speaks, rapidly losing his grip around your wrist "I'm just not in the mood for the same sentimental Clary, Simon scenes all over again."
"I understand." You replied as he scoffs.
"Are you sure?" He bitterly asks as you look at him "Cause you were making quite a scene yourself."
"What's that supposed to mean?" You ask, lightly offended.
"Looks like you and Raphael get along pretty well." He mutters.
"Are you jealous?" You start to smile as he started to shake his head.
"What?! No!" He rapidly speaks.
"Just admit it." You smirk as he rolls his eyes.
"I don't even have a reason to." He snaps.
Ouch, that hurt.
That's it, you had enough of the eldest Lightwood giving you all these mixed up signals. You liked him... a lot, everyone knows. Even Jace teased you about it several times, making you wonder If Alec really doesn't see it or if he just pretends.
What makes you wonder which one is worst.
"Okay I'm done." You coldly state as you turn around.
"Y/n." Alec stops you "I.."
"Are you going to finish that sentence or what?" You snapped as his eyes daze off "Just what I thought." You softly whimper before turning back around, leaving Alec behind you.
You heavily sigh, walking back to the rest as Izzy gave you an assuring look as you softly smiled not wanting to burst out in tears in front of your friends.
At this point, Clary and Simon were both screaming at each other like they were trying to see who was louder. You felt someone behind you as you could feel Alec's presence, trying your best not to care anymore.
"I never wanted any of this to happen!" Clary cries as Simon was heavily breathing while Jace stood awkwardly in between the two.
"Then you could've just let me die!" Simon screams as all of you were put in a breathe silence, not used to see Simon like this.
"Don't Simon." You start "She had to choice to let her best friend die or bring him back to life." You state "Sort of." You rapidly ad.
"She loves you." You walk over to them "And this is a perfect example of it." You continue "Cause if you love someone so badly, you don't want to ever lose that person even though that person is a complete asshole always following the rules. What you like of course but keeps giving you these mixed signals, making you want to punch him so hard in the freaking face." Everyone looked at feach other, already knowing you weren't talking about Simon and Clary anymore "But you know it's worth it, cause you love him." You softly state.
"I-I mean." You start to fake smile "Clary loves you." You wave in between Simon and Clary "You two get my point." You rapidly mumble, walking back over to Izzy her side not looking at Alec for once.
"At least you tried." Izzy besides you whispers as you shot her a glare not ready to deal with the Lightwood sarcasm at this point.
"Bravo." Raphael walks over to you as he claps his hands "What a beauty."
"And your probably going to volunteer as the beast?" Alec behind you snaps.
"I would." He smiles at you, not facing Alec.
"Too bad she's already-" Alec stops himself "She's just not interested." Alec speaks for you.
"What do you say, candle light dinner at midnight." He smoothly walks over to you, completely ignoring Alec and his death glares "I promise not to attack you." He smirks "I mean not in that way." Before you could blink your eyes, Alec stepped in front of you pushing Raphael in one second on the ground. Before he could do more damage, Jace stopped him as Simon stepped in front of Raphael.
"Okay, we're leaving." Jace states on an angry tone.
Walking back to the institute, you were walking with Izzy by your side as Jace and Clary walked behind you and Alec slendering alone at the end.
The walk back was quiet and awkward, only Clary's sobs filling the atmosphere "That was kind of romantic don't you think?" Your best friend besides you whispers.
"I don't know." Your mumble as she places her head on your shoulder, locking your arms as you both walked your way to the institute together like that.
Back at The New York Institute, you weren't in the mood to talk to anyone. You just wanted to jump in bed and sleep your sorrows away, so that's what you did.
You were currently out of the shower, drying your hair as you had nothing but only a towel around your naked body to cover it. You were standing in front of you closet mirror as you jumped up by your bedroom door that flew open.
"Y/n I-" Alec stopped in his tracks, rapidly covering his eyes "Shit." He cursed "I-I'm so sorry."
You inhale deeply, trying to get your chest to slow down as you looked amused at the sight of a terrified Lightwood who was covering his eyes not daring to look at you for once.
"It's okay Alec." You sighed as he kept his eyes covered. You roll your eyes as you walk towards him, taking his hands in yours as you reveal his eyes who were shut as well.
"I'm sorry." The first thing that left his lips as he opened his eyes.
"It's okay." You mumble "You just scared me, I thought I locked the door."
"No." He states "Not for that." He sighs as you look at him "I- I mean yes, for that too but.." He shakes his head "I just came here to say I'm sorry for my behaviour back at Hotel Dumort."
"It's fine." You shrug, rapidly letting go of his hands that you were still holding.
"What's wrong?" He looks you in the eyes "You don't look.." He pauses "You don't look the same at me as before." He states as he was literally staring into your soul at this moment.
"What do you mean?" You ask as you avoid his gaze.
"It's just..." He sighs "That thing in your eyes, it's gone." He explains his weird theory "When we talk, your eyes tell me everything I need to know but now they're just blank."
"I think it's time for you to go." Your voice starts to shake as you felt your tears coming up "I can't deal with you, not right now." you softly whimper as the look on Alec's face saddened.
"For what's worth it." He quietly mumbles "I did felt sort of you know... with Raphael openly talking to you like that." He steps closer as you look up at him.
Without even thinking straight, you crushed your lips on his. Not thinking about the consequences, the rules or anything. Your mind was empty while your heartbeat was the only thing that you could feel.
You didn't know what you were doing but it felt definitely right and with your surprise, Alec didn't hesitate for a second to you kiss back. Making you both turn the kiss into a battle for dominance as you just couldn't and didn't want to unattached your lips from his.
The silence in the room was not awkward this time, you had enough awkward silences for a whole year this day. No this silence was a peaceful one, only hearing the sound of your lips touching each other.
You broke the kiss as you felt Alec his hands travel down to your lower back, making you place your forehead against his "I-I." You breathelessly stutter "I'm still.." You look down.
Your chin was forced to look him in the eyes as Alec licked his lips, closing his eyes for a second "I am too." He quietly states as you don't try to look back at him in shock "But I look forward to.." He pauses "With you." He whispers, not needing to finish his sentence for you to understand his point.
"Me too." You smile, softly placing your lips back on his as he slowly placed his hands back on your lower back. He gave you soft kisses as he slowly ended up in you neck, reaching your sweet spot that you didn't even know you had.
"Let's take it slow." You whisper as he looked down at you.
"We have all night." He slowly states.

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