Blame It On the Beach

Chapter Thirty

I want to go home.

I walk back into Annabel's house, the stuffy air hitting me once again. Craning my neck, I try to spot Quinn through the crowd of people in the living room, but I can't find her. My body feels numb, but my thoughts are running at a mile per minute, and the conflicting emotions in my head are making me feel dizzy.

I should have just told him, but how was I supposed to know Kara would open her big, fat mouth? and I'm an idiot for hooking up with Sawyer, but it also wasn't 100% my fault-- but you can't blame everything on alcohol, Em! and now Milo hates me and I'm such a bitch, but I also hate Milo for being so mean- oh, shut up, you know you'd be angry if you found out he hooked up with another girl after going on a date with you and kissing you- yes, I would be, but he shouldn't have just run off like that, especially when he's leaving tomorrow, FUCK, he's leaving tomorrow, and I'm leaving after that, and I won't see him for a whole year, and fuck him, I hate him, but I also want to fuck him and I might be in love with him, and--

"Em?" I hear Quinn calling my name, and I realize that I've wandered into the hallway. I turn around to see Quinn shutting the door to Annabel's bedroom, and I speed-walk over to her. "What's wrong? You look kind of crazy."

My eyes sting. "Milo found out about me and Sawyer," I tell her, and her eyes widen.

"What?" she asks harshly. "How?" Before I can answer, the door to Annabel's bedroom opens and Noah walks out, hair messy, buttoning his shirt.

"Oh, hey Em," he says, grinning lazily at me, putting his arm around Quinn's waist, as she starts to look sheepish.

"We're kind of in the middle of something, Noah," she tells him.

"Milo found out about me and Sawyer," I say, looking pointedly at him. "Kara told him."

Noah raises his eyebrows. "Man, that sucks," he says. "Sawyer's an idiot."

I bite my lip hard, as I'm starting to sober up and the reality of what happened is settling in. Quinn gives him a hard look, and Noah says, "Alright, I'll leave you guys alone," before kissing her on the mouth and walking away.

Despite myself, I raise my eyebrows at Quinn, taking in her flushed cheeks. "Whatever," she says, waving me off. "We'll talk about that later. Tell me about Milo."

"Ok, we were hooking up in the basement, and Annabel and Kara walked in on us, and Kara said something stupid about me hooking up with both Sawyer and Milo in the same summer," I say, rushing to get the words out. "And then I obviously had to tell Milo the truth, and he ran out-- Quinn, he was really mad, and-" I break off, sliding against the wall until I'm sitting on the carpeted floor of the hallway, back against the wall.

She sits next to me. "Shit, Em," she says. "What did he say?"

Jackson walks into the hallway, stopping short of us when he notices us sitting on the floor. "Are you guys-"

"Leave," Quinn orders.

He puts his hands up. "I'm just trying to go the bathroom," he says defensively.

"Go, then, you idiot!" Quinn says, gesturing down the hall. Jackson mumbles something under his breath, before stepping over our extended legs and disappearing down the hall. "You were saying?"

I shrug. "I don't know, we didn't really say much before he just left," I say. "He said I shouldn't just tell him it was a drunken mistake, or that it didn't mean anything."

"But that's the truth," Quinn says.

"I know, but he didn't seem to care," I say.

"So how did you leave things? Like what was the last thing said?"