Anywhere But Home {Available on KOBO}

{1} It's haunting how I can't seem to find myself again

Band: Linkin Park/ Song: Crawling

Emily Roberts

''These eggs are tasteless!'' Jim mumbled tossing the plate to the ground. I stopped calling him dad. That word doesn't feel right anymore. ''Two years have passed and you still don't know how to cook a simple thing such as eggs.'' He growled standing up and grabbing an apple from the basket on the other side of the table. ''Just as useless as your mother.'' He coldly stated leaving the kitchen.

After two years, I still don't know how his personality changed this much. He wasn't like this. He was a loving father and supported me with everything. After my grandfather passed away, he spent more time at work, but I honestly thought that it was his way of coping and mourning. Never imagined a thing like this was going to happen. And what hurts me the most is knowing he doesn't have any remorse for what he did.

The summer is almost over and I really need to go to the library to check my email. I sent an application letter to the private Miami University, located at Coral Gables. They have a half scholarship that I managed to apply to. Of course, I didn't tell anyone about this, especially not to Jim. He would beat the hell out of me if I even consider that possibility for one minute. It was a miracle he even let me finish high school. I did my junior and senior year in an online school, under a fake name, of course, and I ended up with really good grades, which allowed me to apply for a half scholarship, which will pay my tuitions. He had my laptop lock up in a safe and only let me use it for school stuff and since I finished school, I doubt I would see that laptop ever again.

But I don't care. I'm 18 now. He can't keep me here anymore.

Over these two years, I've been stealing some money from him. Not too much, because I didn't want him to get suspicious, but enough to buy me a plane ticket with a fake ID to Miami and some money to get me by for a few weeks. Even if I don't get in, I just can't stay here any longer. I've been planning this since the last time I tried to run away. This time, everything will be okay. I will be okay.

Coming back from my thoughts, I knelt down and wiped out the pieces of the plate from the ground with a broom, putting it in the trash. Then I washed the rest of the dishes, dried them off and placed them inside the shelves. Jim was in the living room watching the news. Some things never change. ''I need to go to the bakery and buy some bread for tomorrow.'' I said approaching the couch where he was sitting but also keeping a certain distance.

Without even bothering to look at me he said ''There aren't any leftovers?''

''No.'' I informed keeping my head down. ''You ate all of them this morning.'' Oh no. What did I just said?

''What do you mean by that?'' He inquired slightly irritated. ''Are you saying that I eat too much?'' He raised his voice which made me take I step back. It scares me the hell up when he talks like this.

''No n-o.'' I stammered swallowing the knot that was forming in my throat. ''I know you like fresh bread. I can gladly go and buy some for you for tomorrow.'' I said hoping to enlighten his mood.

''Go. You have one hour.'' He informed. ''Don't make me wait.'' Then his gaze was back to the television. Thank god.

I went to my room and changed my clothes. Once a month, Jim gives me fifty dollars to buy new clothes. Some of that money I also saved for when I needed it the most. It will come in handy now. I swapped into more comfortable clothing and grabbed some money from the counter in the hallway.

We live near the town. My da-, Jim says that he prefers to live near the cops because if they're on to him, he can easily escape. It's twisted, I know. Financially, he is always present. I always had what I needed. In terms of the beaten, the never beat me in any visible area. Probably because he needed me to go and get the groceries done.