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Valerie could remember the day he left so clearly, as if it had happened just yesterday. It all still seemed so fresh, still too present in her mind.

The way his pink lips curled around the words I am leaving. The way his green eyes couldn't meet hers, could only look at his shoes, the floor, his hands. Twisting them together like he always did when he was nervous- like how after her father's funeral he'd wrung them so much his knuckles bled.

It was how when he touched her for that very last time- it still felt so damn electric. Still felt like lightning bolts shooting up her arm. Still felt like home.

That wasn't a year ago. That was not one fucking year ago.

Oh. But it was.

She remembered dropping her bag by the door, walking three steps, stopping.

And it was almost as if the world just froze then. For a second. Just stopped turning so Valerie could really understand what she was seeing. Really take it all in.

Harry was crying. And sitting on their old leather sofa. And his hands were covering his face, and his toes were pointing towards each other in that beautifully dorky way that they did.

He looked up when he realised she was in the room.

And he stood.

And he said those three words, I am leaving, and then everything else stopped working too.

Red exploded in her vision. His voice cut through her like a knife. And it all just sort of went quiet.

Everything else he was saying, crying, was past her ability to comprehend. Her blood ran cold in her veins. Her heart hitched. Her mouth dried. He was leaving.

Harry, the love of her fucking life, who had sunk his teeth down deep into her skin; Harry, the boy who glowed like stars, and who was supposed to fucking love her- was leaving.

Leaving. Leaving. Leaving.

It felt like she was dying. It felt like she was being torn in two, like the very threads of her being were pulling apart and snapping just underneath the surface of her skin; like she was on fire. Like she was falling.

Down.

She couldn't find the words to explain the pain, so she just fell to the floor and cried. Sobbed. Heaved.

And he still left. He still fucked her up. He still cut open her veins and made her bleed, so, so much more than his bloody fucking knuckles.

The door slammed when he closed it. Val remembered the way it echoed around the emptiness, harsh sound vibrating off cold surface, cracking through the silent air like a gun shot. Like a goodbye.

Val remembered the way it felt to watch as just like that, their temporary brilliance turned to ash right before her eyes.

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Song: Youth by Daughter

"Well I've lost it all, I'm just a silhouette. A lifeless face that you'll soon forget. My eyes are damp from the words you left. Ringing in my head, when you broke my chest."

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