Stars Leave Black Holes Behind [HS]

21

Val couldn't understand why the fuck Zayn was smiling about this. Couldn't comprehend how it was a situation that he could even feel remotely positive about.

Because Harry was staying over.

Harry. Was. Fucking. Staying. Over.

Her mind was flicking between images of jumping out of the window, and strangling Zayn with her own bare hands.

"Yeah, so I thought you guys could stay in our bed, and I'll go back to the dorms."

Our bed. Our fucking bed.

Valerie bit her lip, closed her eyes, listened to her quickening pulse echo around her skull.

Beat.

Beat.

Beat.

"I-I won't stay if it's a problem," Harry's gravelly voice spoke up, and Valerie's eyes snapped open on instinct.

She couldn't help it, he simply demanded to be looked at.

"Harry, mate, it's fine. Stay. Hotels are expensive as fuck, and right now they're unnecessary," Zayn argued, but Harry didn't flinch.

He was staring at Val, his eyes trained on hers, waiting for her approval.

It felt like he was looking into her soul, his eyes roaming though her skull and finding his name etched onto the inside of her bones, finding all the secrets she had tucked away there, out of sight, away from him.

Valerie sighed.

She didn't know quite how she was going to manage sleeping under the same roof as Harry. She could painfully remember the times when she couldn't manage sleeping without, when the emptiness of their bed was unfamiliar and the coolness of their sheets was strange.

Back then, she usually ended up calling him, pouting and complaining for him to come back from wherever the fuck it was he had gone. He was always in the same position as her. Both of them missing the way their hot skin pressed against each other, missing falling asleep to the sound of their heartbeats thudding slowly in sync.

Of course, Valerie still yearned for his touch now. Still craved for his gentle fingertips to run up and down her arm as he coaxed her to sleep- but right now, standing in the middle of the living room, hands shaking at her sides and throat dry with anxiety, she couldn't think of anything worse.

Of anything more stiflingly difficult than to be so close to him, in a way that was almost second fucking nature to her, and yet not be able to do anything. Not be able to snuggle up tight and breathe him in, not be able to kiss his chest and trace his tattoos, not be able to feel his arms around her, strong and comforting and tender- to Val, it sounded fucking impossible.

Because sleeping with Harry, actually just sleeping with him, was one of Valerie's favourite things to do when they'd been Val And Harry.

It was a time when she didn't have to worry about anything else, and she could just lay and soak up his brilliance. Focus on how the flecks of gold in his eyes seemed to glow in the dark, and how the warmth of his breath tickled the back of her neck when he fell asleep, and how good it felt when they were all wrapped up in each other, when she couldn't decipher where she ended and where he began.

To sleep beside him again, after all this time, and not even be allowed to touch him- well that was more of a torture than anything else Val could imagine.

Yet it was the kind of torture Valerie couldn't say no to, the type of torture that she couldn't resist. Call her a fucking masochist, but it was the truth. The pain was just too tempting.

Finally, Val opened her mouth, licking her lips slowly as she responded.

"Harry, um- yeah. You can stay."

__

Song: Stay by Rihanna (feat. Mikky Ekko)

"Not really sure how to feel about it, something in the way you move makes me feel like I can't live without you- it takes me all the way. I want you to stay."