As I Lay Dying

Thirty Three

1918

"It gets earlier every bloody morning."

Jimmy yawns loudly as he watches me strain the tea leaves in our dug out. I grin toward him in agreement. Our new officer is decent enough but he has an annoying habit of moving our daily inspections to the first light of dawn.

We've been moved on again but we haven't seen any action in weeks. It's been surprisingly quiet, just the occasional shell or exchange of machine gun fire. Everyone is convinced it nearly over, but I've heard it so many times. A couple of years ago I went 2 months at a small trench on the edge of France without going over the top once. Just because we have a reprieve it doesn't mean it's over.

"Apparently there was a huge bombardment down at Ypres last night." Jimmy stretches and leans forwards to take the tea. I've reused the leaves so many times that it's barely more than slightly dark water and he grimaces at it. "Have we got anything to eat?"

Jimmy sighs as I pull a pack of stale biscuits from my bag but he still generously helps himself to more than half my stash.

"I don't know what to believe. One minute they're sending a group of us over to the Huns trench to try and get a prisoner for information, next there is a huge night attack at Ypres, then this morning I overhear the officer saying that it'll be over in the next six weeks!"

"Don't believe anything Jim. Just carry on as we are, we'll see what happens."

"Yeah. I suppose." To my surprise he stands up and walks over to his bed.

"What are you doing? We've got to report down to the front to store that trench wall that's collapsed."

"You have too." He grins. "I've got another hour in bed. Private Goodham kindly, er, volunteered to go in my place."

"Are you still ordering him around?" I laugh.

"Bloody right I am. After what he made us suffer under Darlington it's the least he can do."

I shake my head as Jimmy eases his huge frame onto the bed and turns his back on me. I glance at my pocket watch, the single possession of my fathers I own.

I've still got 40 minutes. It's barely even light, the dawn hasn't broken yet. I lean back and close my eyes, I can't allow myself to sleep but my mind drifts lazily.

I must doze off because it seems to take a while before the urgent shout pierces my mind.

"Gas! Gas! They've sent gas!"

Instantly I'm alert. Of all the things in the trenches, this is the singular, the one thing that I fear the most.

I can feel my heart thudding against my chest as I scream over to Jimmy.

Out sergeant is suddenly in front of me, shouting at me to fix my bayonet and get my bloody mask on. I struggle with both tasks, my fingers shaking I clasp the mask over my face. I see panic flash across Jimmy's face as I force his mask into his hands and beginning fighting with my bayonet.

Within seconds we're outside the dug out. Men are running with bug-like gas masks obscuring their faces. The light is still grey and I turn unwillingly to face no mans land.

It's rolling towards us. The huge yellow cloud, swallowing everything in it's path. I can hear my breathing rattling in the isolation of my mask, but it feels like there's not enough air for me draw in.

Long yellow tendrils, like grasping fingers, curl out from the cloud towards me. I'm rooted to the spot in terror, all the while as an abstract voice in my head tells me to focus my breathing, stay calm. I glance towards Jimmy but he's not there, there's only a lone figure in down the far end of the trench. Before I can move towards it, the cloud snakes its way around me.