Grey's Tribute

His Choices

I'm safely tucked away in the fold of his arm; my leg draped across his abdomen. His chest feels warm against my cheek. Flesh laying against flesh feels comforting. His hands are rubbing my thigh, my hip, my back in a calming way.

The sensation of his body against my hypertensive skin makes me tingle all over.

"Shhh, close your eyes... go back to sleep." His voice is heavy with exhaustion.

I feel him move underneath me. He's grabbing for something, and it clatters against the nightstand.

A knock at the door startles me as it echoes in the silence. Another blow comes, louder than the last.

"Alpha Grey," a panic-stricken voice calls out from the other side of the door.

"What?" His voice booms his displeasure at being disturbed.

Snuggling deeper into his side, I rub my cheek against him, holding him close to me. He kisses my forehead as I try to pry open my heavy lids.

"It's the females; they've been thrown into their heat."

Even in the fog, I understand this could become a volatile situation: males fighting males to the death because of the need to mate the unmated females.

Groaning, he shifts his body weight, pulling himself away from me.

"Don't leave me." My fingers try to find something I can grab onto to stop him from leaving. Searing hot heat starts spreading where his skin leaves mine. I whimper out to him, still too drugged to open my eyes. I feel too heavy to move, to even turn over in bed.

"Please, I need you... Stay with me." I'm begging him, the pain starting to bloom inside me, spreading from the tip of my fingers to the bottom of my toes.

"I have no choice. I have to go; the pack needs me."

Gritting my teeth at his words. "I need you," I scream out accusingly."I need you."

It's hard to breath anymore as the white heat wraps around my chest, suffocating me. A sting in my thigh has me flinching slightly. I peek one eye open and look down to see the blurry syringe. I can taste the bitterness of the medication working its was into my system. I feel like my body is sinking into the bed, it's so heavy.

"I hate you." It's a very quite whisper as the tears leak out my closed eyes.

"Not as much as I hate myself."

I almost didn't catch that. It was said so quietly; my ears strained to hear it.

My mind's starting to blur. Only faintly do I hear the door click and lock. My stomach is protesting the strong sedative. Twisting and turning, the acid makes it's way up my throat explosively. I empty out the contents of my stomach onto the bed. Wave after wave of yellow bile pours out of me in unforgiving pulses.

I can't move to clean myself up; the medicine is too strong, it overpowered my system. Taking a big breath, all I smell is vomit and my body spasms uncontrollably with pain. I start screaming until I have no more voice.

The lull of oblivion calls out to me. The last thought I have before the deep dark descends is that I'll always be second. Never first.

So the cycle repeats. I wake in a twilight haze, begging for help, but my desperate pleas are left unanswered. I scream and kick my misery out, only to be told by a female voice to calm down because it will be over soon. The sharp sting of a needle and the bitter taste of the sedative always follow.

"Meela, you need to drink."

I choke on the cold water spilling down my throat. Coughing and gagging, I try to take a deep breath. The pounding in my head makes it impossible to open my eyes.