INFP (confession,thoughts,the truth,struggles)

Thoughts before sleep

Who am I ?

Why am I'm a world where we're forced to pay our bills and have a job while I didn't even choose to be born into this world?

Why do we bake cookies but cook Bacon?

What if I die in my sleep?
I do wanna die but I still didn't say a proper good bye to the ones I love plus there are so many sins I have done....

Do I want to die?
I mean I'm always complaining about how I'm done with life's shit but then again I have hope the future might be better?

I wanna draw or write something because my creativeness is coming but my sister is sleeping in the same room so I can't turn on the lights?

What if ghosts are true,what if they want to be friends with me because they see my cry at night?

What if they want me to go to the ghost world with them??? That's cooooool

*remembers a really awkward cringe moment they did 3 years ago

What if I'm already dead just not aware of that?

Where will I be after 10 years?
What am I gonna be doing after 10 years?
What was I like before 10 years?

I'm might be in a grave after 10 years..

*starts making up scenarios in their head that will never happen

*thinks about them and their crush blasting it off

*imagines themselves impressing everyone

Am I burden to anyone?

Does anyone think I'm weak?

I remember that day when I cried infront of my cousin,I'm so stupid now she sees me as weak!

I think I'm just being annoying to everyone?

I bet £100,000 that my crush likes me back..

My crush probably see me as this annoying fan girl

You know what fuck it !
I don't give a shit what people think of me!
I can be myself whenever I want wherever I want ,you got that bitch?

Who am I talking to lol.......

Why does everyone on instgram look so pretty?
I feel bad I look like a frog
Hell but frogs get loved and cared from another frog
I look like a  rotten potato, a pathetic loser rotten potato

I'm still waiting for my glow up though
I'm not talking about the glow up that happens to K-pop idols because that's too extreme bro

Is vkook real?
Well duh it's real

Is our DNA really in our blood vessels ?
Dashi run run run
Extra + ordinary huh nananananaaaaa

(Doesn't know words to the song so just says nanana)

Do fish get thirsty?

I would love to live in sea world
It's like another universe
Just hearing the water bubbles and silence
Darkness and colors in one

Also I wish I could live in space
Just there admiring the planets and stars
Aaaaaaa~ so perfect~

Can I like just vanish right now?
Just like WHOSH I'm out
I'm not here
That's so weird
I don't understand myself sometimes
Scratch that
I never understand myself lol

Am I suppose to cry or laugh because I don't understand my own thoughts?

Just like I'm doing right now?

If I was me but been raised in a different house would I still be me??

I should start a YouTube channel about how I fan girl to bts and got7

Or a YouTube channel about the mbti or cool science facts

But I will have so many haters for how stupid I am
That will hurt me down
I shouldn't risk myself crying over night
But then again I don't give a fuck about what people think about me

If my crush can read my mind would he fall in love because of how unique I am or get to hate me more from weird thoughts

Pffff I'm probably a pathetic loser to him
Have i said that before?

Wait a second......

Who am I ???