Chapter Forty- What Could I Do?

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Victoria and I, now both stood staring at the girl in front of us who was covered in crimson, which resembled blood, but I was never sure whether to take Swan seriously. She looked positively shocked for a few moments, before breaking out into a light laugh.

"Uh...happy Halloween?"

"What the hell?" Victoria asked, some anger evident in her tone.

"I heard that St Wells was lacking parties and even though I'm settling in to my new place now, I get along with all the major people here, throwing a party tonight, of all times, so be there or be a triangle," she laughed lightly, and then left the room.

I just turned to Victoria with a confused expression on my face, but she wasn't far off matching my feeling with the way she looked. 

"That girl could give me a heart attack," 

"Oh but you seemed to care," 

"I tend to care about people no matter what we go through..." she blurted quickly, and then busied herself with something else to do.

It didn't last long, however.

"I don't know, Kate. If my dad wasn't, well, the way he is, this wouldn't be so complicated," 

"What wouldn't be?" I asked what was fairly obviously stated in prior events, but I wanted to hear how she felt about everything.

"This...having to just be friends with you when I l- I literally need you more than anyone... and my dad just has to come along and...and Valerie..." Victoria's eyes narrowed. 

If looks could kill, Valerie would currently be a goner. 

"I wish things were easy," she said.

"But it's not easy," I replied.

It never really was, between us, even before this whole angered and forbidding father thing happened.

"I just...I'll see you later, Kate," Victoria stated, before heading out of the dorm. 

I spent the rest of the day busying myself with rearranging old scrapbooks and thinking about what was going to happen between Victoria and I and painting new pictures and thinking about Victoria...and writing, drawing, reading, distracting myself and then well, admittedly, failing and worrying about what was going to happen between Victoria and I, again. Not for the first time in a week either. 

My thoughts did drift to Swan's party, though, and whether Victoria was going to be there. 

Well, if I went, and she went too, I would double check myself to not do anything stupid.

I didn't know why I always felt a pull to impress Victoria, but I did, even now.

Not like I needed to...even through everything, I was sure that somewhere and somehow Victoria still liked me..

Maybe.

I mean, I could get very annoying sometimes so if she didn't it wouldn't be too surprising.

I smirked at my thoughts, when exactly did I get such a thing for my roommate? 

Perhaps the moment we were assigned the same room, the time we made cupcakes, the fact that someone you expect to be a certain way can turn out to be very different. 

My thoughts only occupied me for so long, before my phone went off with the new ringtone I had set for the group chat for Margo, Fox and I. I mean yeah, I did feel a little like a third wheel given recent developments between the two, but they were my friends, and it could get a little confusing switching talking between the two of them when we tended to speak about similar topics anyway. 

Margo: Yo Greeny, princess of ice invited us to a party? Scam or what??

Kate: No, I'm pretty sure it's real! 

Fox: No way is this happening...

Margo: Well, it's happening, Fox. So you're going to have to get an outfit sorted, girl

Fox: ...sure

Margo: Are you going to show, Kate?

I didn't think I could party, at least I didn't feel in the mood tonight.

Fox: Oh okay, Kate. Well, we'll see you later.

Kate: See you later.

After a few hours of 'studying' it was discovered that Swan had moved the party for the following day, the end of term. 

Things still weren't great between Victoria and I, bu I was slightly relieved to be able to go home after a couple months of hard work.

Pus, it would be good to go home and see my parents again, and more importantly, it would be good t be away from Victoria when every time I saw her made my chest feel tight and odd, all because I knew that my feelings were a shot in the ark when her father would  prevent us from ever being together, at least, in the way that I wanted us to be.

Was I just being selfish?

Eventually, I decided to sleep on it, because it was getting dark, and my head didn't work very well when it was late.

//*

Ringing from my phone woke me, and unfortunately also Victoria up early the next morning.

"Meet me for coffee?" asked Fox, to which I agreed.

"What...it's been a couple days and you're already seeing other women?" Victoria joked.

"Fox. Plus, you and I are not official," 

Victoria sighed.

"For obvious reasons, and you know that," she said.

I just nodded. 

It was true...her father had been the main cause of all of this. If he accepted Victoria, perhaps things wouldn't be so bad.

After saying a quick goodbye to Victoria, I headed on my way to the cafe and sat down opposite Fox once I found her, she was quick to turn to me and roceed onto talking before I had even had a sip of my bubblegum frappe. 

I had no idea what it was supposed to taste like...mainly sugar and flavourings, but it was good.

"Hey Kate...so, it's the last day of term," she started.

It was, I had almost forgotten, but it had come around much more quickly than I had initially ever thought it would. 

"Apparently it is," I replied.

"Alright I'm just going to cut to the chase here, where has Kate Greene gone?" 

"...she's right here," 

Fox just shook her head slightly.

"The Kate I knew? The Kate who wouldn't just let Victoria go? You've been so sad...when you should know that you've not lost anything. Her parents will come around," Fox said, giving me a reassuring look at the end of her statement.

"But will they?" 

"Kate, I see how you two look at each other...that's not worth giving up," Fox said. 

She had a point, Victoria wasn't worth just giving up, she meant a lot to me, and I didn't want to just end university without making anything of the one relationship I had ever felt really clicked...even though it was unexpected being with her made sense, but it had come to an end too quickly, and I wanted to be with her, but her father didn't want that, so I was stuck between wanting and not being able to have... 

What could I do?  




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