torn hose: a mother's story

Lesson One

"Candice, it’s really annoying for a girl when she spends twenty-five dollars or more on a pair of hose, wears them once and then takes them out of the drawer the next time only to find a ladder running down one leg, or both. A good pair of  hose should last for multiple washes and many wears. Ladders can be avoided for the most part and I'm,--Well both Rachel and I are about to teach you how to properly care for and wear your hose."

At that point, Rachel came walking back in with three pairs of hose, still in the package. She opened the package and handed Candice and I each a pair then sat down in a chair next to the bed, with the other pair.

Candice looked scared to death or was it extreme embarrassment on her face. Either way, I could see that she was shaking.

I smiled at Rachel and she began the lesson.

"First and foremost, little sister, you are going to need to take care of your hands. Always remove any hand jewelry and rings before handling your hose. Also, make sure you have filed and smoothed your nails and that you don’t have any rough skin on your hands. Jagged nails and rough skin are not the friends of your lovely new hose. If you’ve got a ragged nail or anything that might catch on the delicate fabric of your hosiery, always take a moment and deal with it before you start handling your hose."

I took Candice's hands in mine to check them and just as I thought, she really was shaking. I tried to look her in the eyes, but she refused eye contact, continuing to gaze downward as she had ever since she learned what we were about to do. But who can blame her, a boy in a dress, not only being taught by his mom and older sister how to properly put on hose, but also being expected to do it, in front of them, was enough to destroy just about any male.

After checking her hands, I took over the instructions.

"Next, check your feet, and make sure you don’t have rough skin or sharp toenails there either. Taking the time to do this will mean your hose last longer and stay in great condition. Any girl that knows she's going to be wearing a nice pair of hose has a great excuse for a pedicure . . . Sweetheart . . . don't just sit there, check your feet . . . now,"  I sternly instructed her.

When Candice was finished, Rachel continued, "Now we have to make sure we put our hosiery on properly to avoid laddering. Of course, you might still catch them and damage them while out, but there’s no need to ruin them before you’ve ever had a chance to wear them out the door, even once."

"Okay, Raymond, take your hose out of the package carefully," I instructed while demonstrating.

"Who," she asked. "You mean, Candice?"

"Nice catch, Candice," I replied with a grin. "Now stretch them gently lengthways to create some give before you start putting them on but don’t pull too hard or you'll risk tearing them."

I paused to demonstrate and then waited for Candice to stretch hers the same way, before continuing.

"Now we can put them on. At this point always make sure you are sitting down, and take your time. Hold them up and look for the tag. This is the back of the hose so turn them with the tag side nearest you. If there's no tag, look for the seams. There'll be two semesters, one on either side in the front and just one seam, straight up the middle, in the back."

Rachel and I both demonstrated as I continued to explain.

"Next, place both hands on one side with your thumbs inside. Now, began carefully gathering the material of one leg between your thumbs and first two fingers until you've rolled one leg of the hose down to the toes. Go slow and make sure you don't twist them."

"Go ahead little sister, you do it too," Rachel prodded,. ". . . Yes, like that. Now slide your toes in first, then gently stretch the material and roll it up your leg to above your knee."

"Good job, Candice," I encouraged. "Now repeat that with the other leg."

Rachel and I completed the second leg then waited as Candice struggled to catch up.

"Okay," Rachel told her brother. "You've got both your legs in the hose to mid-thigh. Stand up and carefully unroll the rest up each of your legs . . . Adjust the panty part so that it fits neatly around your hips and waist."

As we were finishing with this part, I took over, "You're legs are now completely encased in delightful nylon . . . Wait," I yelled, stopping Candice, as I saw what she was starting to do.

"Don’t  pull them from the top, like that. It won’t work and you’ll more than likely tear them. If the legs don’t seem to be long enough, then roll them down to the knees again, sit down, and gently stretch them out and roll them back up."

"Great job, lil' sis," Rachel said praising Candice once her hose were finally in place. "That's probably the first time you ever put on hose the right way."

"Maybe so, Rachel, but it won't be her last. Next laundry day, Rachel or I one, will teach you how to properly wash them, Candice."