Out of My Mind

I Hate Me, Not You

I always say I love myself, I always say I'm a great person, but I hate myself.

I hate myself with all the hatred that I should be spending on other people who probably deserve it even more.

I hate myself for not being able to trust people.

I hate myself for not being able to believe when someone loves me.

I hate myself for not being able to believe when someone cares about me.

And I hate myself for all of my trauma related personality deficits interfering with everyday life because I'm not the only one it affects, and I hate that.

I just want to be normal, just so people don't have to deal with secondhand what I have to deal with. It's one thing for me to have to be miserable; I just can't stand making other people miserable with me.