- letter of love ♡ sidemen + willne -

❁ dear harry ❁

dear harry ,
same mom
different dad.
so we were half - siblings i guess ?
but we never really talked about that.
we would rather just tell people
that we were
the best looking pair of friends there was.
explaining the whole thing
was just too much work.
so to most of the world
we had different parents ,
met when we were young as neighbors ,
and are close like brother and sister.
but that was a year ago.
as of today you changed.
don't know why or how.
but you're not my harry
that i knew.
you're not the harry
i used to laugh with.
or cry with.
or share my secrets with.
the last secret i told was to you
and it was the last thing
i ever told someone period.
because it was yesterday.
yesterday i told you i wanted to die.
i told you i had pills and blades stocked.
i told you i am writing these letters.
you knew that this was in the works harry.
you knew i wasn't going out
because i sat at my desk
writing these dumb letters
probably no one is going to read.
you knew that i stopped taking my medication.
all to save it up and take
what everything in one day.
YOU FUCKING KNEW
and what did you do ?
NOTHING you fucking pussy.
you sat there with that same
dumb look on your face
and with that same dumb tone
you said
"no you're not."
i wish it was a joke.
i wish i was lying.
but im not.
and those same three words
just keep playing through my head.
how dare you.
you'll see harry.
i don't even want you to
shed a fucking tear.
is it too big of a responsibility for you?
get the fuck off your moms tit
and grow the fuck up.
you're 22 now.
not 7.
but you were grown up enough
to go to the club after you left
and get fucking wasted.
but i should've known.
all stressful situations with you are
paired with alcohol.
probably forgot what i said anyway.
waste of fucking breath.
though i won't be there to answer
i have questions.
what happened?
what made you change
from a year ago to now?
did you ever really care?
shame that i'll never know.
was something going on
that i didn't know about?
you should've told me haz.
guess it's too late now.
im not going to lie
and say i'm not mad.
im fucking pissed.
but im also not going to lie
and say i'm not sorry.
sorry for whatever you're going through.
i hope you'll find someone to
talk through it.
and no, drunk convos with
the bartender don't count.
i love you haz.
im angry and upset.
but i still love you.
and always will.
harold lewis
this is my
letter of love
to you.