My friends in memories

Chapter 15

POV OF KAREN:

" Karen sige na oh.. sabihin mo na kung anong nangyari ulit nung araw na iyon. " pangungulit ni Raffy

" sige na nga "

at nag kwento na nga ako

'The night I've always expected.

I let him go.

I let him walked away from me and for me, It was really the hard decision I have ever made.

I wanted to change my mind at that time, but I remembered that If I let him stay, I might just hurt him.

...

So, I let him leave me.

Kasi, mahal na mahal ko siya...

Pero, hindi niya alam 'yon, kung gaano ko siya kamahal. And he will never know.

Never.

But you may wonder?

"Kung mahal mo, bakit mo pinakawalan?" I let him go because I love him.

No one actually knows the reason why I had to do what I needed to do.

I let him go because he is too perfect for me.

While me, on the other hand, I am not. Hindi kami talo.

Napaka invalid reason, 'no? No, it's not.

After all.

He loves me? I have doubts. I've got trust issues.

It is really hard for me to trust again; especially, when I gave everything to a man but then ended up nothing.

It was really hard...

It was just really hard for me how to learn how to trust, and to love AGAIN, and that is my problem...

I do not love myself enough to be the best woman for him.

He is willing to invest everything on me, and I knew, I wouldn't be able to give it back to him...

So even if I love him, I had to let him go, for the reason that I wanted the best for him.

Ganoon ko siya kamahal.

I sacrificed my love for him, and it really pains me to write this kasi deep inside I still love him.

I still do...

But, I will be okay.

It's just that you wanna know the hardest thing I have do lately?

Learn not care about him. I had to learn not to expect,

"Karen, Kamusta ka na?" message from him.

I had to learn how to go throughout the day without talking to him at all.

I had to learn how to not be up to date with his life after removing him off of my social media.

I had to learn how to not miss him after not being around him for a certain amount of time.

I had to learn how to leave him alone instead of thinking it's okay to take up of all of his time.

I had to learn how to not think about him when I am not right next to him.

I had to learn how to get over him and not to be hopeful that he'll want to get back with me.

I had to learn how to move on with my life instead of wishing for things to go back to the way they used to be.

I had to learn how to live without him and well, that isn't easy.

Especially, when I am still inlove with him.

But, little by little, I am learning to love him a little less everyday because as loving him makes me, it also hurts too much.

And now, It's been two months and 22 days and I truly miss him.

So much, but I am okay. I'm learning how to live my life without him.

Actually, I am starting to love myself, I am in the process of becoming the better version of me.

So that, when the right man comes, I wouldn't do the same mistake.

I will never let go of that right man. To be honest, he was the best thing that happened into my life, so far.

I am really thankful that I met him because if it were not for him, I wouldn't be able to love myself again.

Pero, katulad nga ng sabi niya palagi, "Every good thing must come to an end."

So I guess, this is a goodbye.

Forever.

Need to forget.

And move on.

But, though it be but in memory

Gab's POV

Naalala ko pa yung ginawa namin nung araw na iyon.

sigh..

Flashback

As I woke up today, it felt bitter-sweet.

I knew what was coming, but I could never be too sure.

Butterflies, fluttering in my stomach as I get dressed for the day. My thoughts running wild, I couldn't help but fidget around, unable to control myself.

After a few hours, I hop into the car with my uncle to pick her up, I was with my brother and his girlfriend; really nice people.

We stopped beside a convenience store, she was there, waiting. Time passed, we had lunch, talked a bit: nothing too important. We went out to the terrace, looking at the beautiful beautiful rice fields that spread across the land.

We'd talk, a lot actually, about what we'd do after today, when we were no longer together. An hour or so passed, we laid down in my room, holding each other.

To be honest, laying there, I thought that there was no other person I'd rather wake up to every day for the rest of my life than her.

She was all I ever wanted, she was my happiness. That everlasting moment, when we held each other, it was perfect.

Yet sadly, all good things must come to an end. We had dinner, my dad drove us to her place. We said our final goodbyes. And as any other story like this has ended, we never saw each other again.

As of now, it had been a few months.

Do I miss her?

.... Definitely.

Do I still love her?

...I can't say that I don't.

Yes, my happiness in life just left me, but I'm alright.

I've come to the realization that maybe, I can live without her.

It'll be painfull, yeah, but I'll make it.

Now, I guess it's time to forget about her....

...for good.