The Girl and Her Breaking Heart #1 || ✔

A/N (NNTR#4)

Yeah I know what your thinking 'another A/N? What is this girl and her author notes like jeez.' And I'm so freaking sorry for all the A/Ns.

But this will answer all the questions all of you my beautiful readers might have. I will be addressing:
•Daily Notifications of my uploads
•Update Schedule
•My absents for that very long Month or so

So I know you guys might be receiving notifications about me updating my book and there's a very good explanation for that. I have been editing my chapters because I'm reading them over. I'm reading them over because I want to know exactly what going on with everything and how I left it off. Believe it or not, I didn't have this whole book planned out. Every chapter posted has been made from the top of my head. I never really had a outline for this book and how things would go. Which is the reason behind the spam of notifications. I am very sorry for that spam.

So because of all that time I was gone, I will not be having a upload schedule. Not until I have everything some what fixed and organized. Until then I won't have one but as soon as I do, you guys will know. I will also go back to updating my Instagram and Twitter for everything you guys might want to or need to know about what's happening with my book. And if you guys don't follow me on Wattpad, then it will help you guys to be updated on things.

Okay so here's where things go kind of or most like, into the deep stuff.

So some might have noticed my absence. I was gone and off the face of the earth for a very long time. A month, more or less. This is very personal but because I feel indebted to you guys for disappearing, I feel the need to explain myself. You see not long after school started this year (Which was in September) something happened. A female friend of mine father sexually harassed me and after it happened I lost myself. The event changed me and for the worst and I wasn't myself anymore. People didn't noticed the affect or what happened because I kept the event and my feelings hidden. I had revealed the event to a close my friend of mine who also knew the female. Every day I lived in fear of leaving my house and going to school or work. My job and school are close by where he lives with his family and my female friend. The close friend who I revealed to about what happened, and I'm assuming told the female friend of mine. The friend texted me letting me know one day that she wanted to talk and that it was serious. And because of paranoia and depression, I feared she found out. And because I wasn't the one to tell her what happened when I was ready to, I panicked. In that moment of weakness I tried to commit suicide. I didn't succeed thankfully. But the next day I visited my therapist, who I visit all the time on that day because, of other events. I let her know what happened, from the events to the act of wanting to commit suicide. She convinced my mother to take me to the hospital and I stood there for a day. I was then transferred to another hospital and stood there for a week. After I got out I was still depressed and having illed thoughts. My first day back to school I got a panic attack when I saw her. She didn't try to speak to me or anything. It was just the thoughts. I found out her father tried to contact me while in the hospital. No one knew where I was throughout that whole week. Most people still don't don't. Only very close friends (expect the one who I'm assuming told) which was three, only after I finally spoke. I didn't speak much or at all really after I got out of the hospital. Everything after the hospital just seemed to become worst. I pushed people away, had panic attacks, couldn't focus, couldn't stand males near me, couldn't stand the sight of my own reflection and worst of all was still having suicidal thoughts and no one knew any on those. I slowly started to open up to friends who didn't give up on me. I was so deep in that dark place I was in my mind, that it was difficult to do anything even faking laughs and smiles that I was used to. I was hurting a lot. But just recently I feel like I'm coming out of that dark place. I'm not the same old me but I'm getting out and that's all that really matters.

If you have gone though something like this or know someone who has, please for your sake and there's tell someone. If you don't feel comfortable then your welcomed to talk to me anytime. I'm always free to talk. I know how it feels to be in that darkness. I have been it more times then I can remember, that it has become all too familiar to me. But every time I have come out of it a different and much strong minded person.

Text me in Private Messages here
Text me on Instagram: Wildfire_247
Text me on Twitter: Wildfire_247
I'll even give you my number so you can talk with me.

Like I said I'm always opened to talking to you guys about anything. Please don't hesitate to contact me guys.

Xoxo ~Wildfire~♥️