Can't I Touch Your Heart?

Chapter 32 Far Blue Eyes

"How do you know Ember?" Rhea asked Neel. He kept his bag aside and took out his paintbrush. He ignored her and sat in front of a fresh canvas.
"I'm asking you something, Neel,"
"Can't you see I'm ignoring you?"
"Why?"

Neel dropped his brush into a glass of water, "I don't want to talk about him,"
"But...At least tell me how you know-"
"I said," He looked into her eyes, "I don't want to talk about him. Don't bother me again,"
He started painting and she just stared at her sky blue canvas. Neel looked at her canvas,

"What an ugly colour,"
"It's not ugly!"
"Stop crying first of all. You look worse than this colour," 
She wiped her tears.
"What is wrong?" Neel asked.

"Nothing,"
"Then, why were you crying?"
She didn't say anything, so he asked again, and this time she answered in a louder voice, 

"I don't want to talk about it, okay?" She clutched her paintbrush tightly, "I'm suddenly driven by emotions rather than logic. This is so not me, I'm always calm!"
"I'd like to disagree on that,"
"You don't even know me, shut the fuck up!" She yelled.
"No, you shut the fuck up," He yelled and she pulled back.

He looked back into his painting and continued striking the brush on the plain canvas, "You all are horrible people. You, that blonde bastard, especially, him,"
"You know Ember?" She asked.
"Unfortunately," He didn't look at her, he was focused on painting, "I met him in kindergarten,"

"I'm surprised you still remember him in that case,"
"Assholes like him are hard to forget,"
"What did he do?"

Neel slowly took a flat brush and made certain yellow dots on the black paint, "I remember hearing a story of a lonely baby crow, playing by himself. Then one day a blue songbird appeared from nowhere, they played together. But one day, the baby crow broke a wing and couldn't fly anymore. 
And you know what that songbird did?
It flew away, saying that he had people far away in the sky, waiting for him.
The poor crow tried to stop him, 

But he never stopped,"

Neel's black bangs dropped over his cat green eyes and he looked at Rhea, 

"He plays alone now,"

She didn't know what to say. She looked back into her canvas and picked up her paintbrush, "Where was I?"
"With me. I don't remember a lot. My memory has betrayed me, but I remember what it felt like to be left behind. And I never want to feel it again,"

"...He left me too?"
"Yes, he did. I don't understand you. How can you forgive him so easily?"
Rhea looked down, "I didn't know,"
"Well, now that you do, has your opinion about him changed?"

"No, not until he tells me why he left. I won't be stupid like you,"
"Stupid?!"
"I want to understand him, not blindly hate him. From what I've seen, he's a wonderful person. So talented," She remembered his face, "He acts like such a wuzz but honestly, he's very resilient," She was smiling, thinking of him, "He's capricious, he's melodramatic yet he's graceful and he smells good. He's got a pleasant aura, he's got a contagious laughter, he's dirty-minded, freaky but surprisingly, he's respectful and knows where to keep it till jokes. Jokes, he cracks a lot of those, sometimes, he's got sass, while the others, he just looks vulnerable. 

And his eyes, oh his eyes, they are so limitless, like the ocean. When I look into his eyes, I see this...This beautiful blue," She pointed at her canvas, "Like the oceans, or the sky, this teeny tiny hint of something more. Something you're feeling but can't say. When our eyes meet, it's like we're instantly connected. And I know no one catches it but me and him, but I like it that way," She smiled, "It's like our own secret...A place we go when everything around us is crazy and we just need some semblance of normal,"

Neel simply stared at her for a good two minutes after she was done. She clasped her hands together and looked down, her ears turned red.

"...Do you like him?" He asked as he rose his right eyebrow.
"...I do," She fiddled her fingers.
"My god, you're such an idiot,"
"Shut up!"
"Simp,"
"I said shut up!"

"Why don't you confess already?"
"...I can't,"
"Why? Scared that white boy would dump your yellow ass?"
"My best friend likes him. I don't want to lose her,"

"Wait, I don't understand, I thought you liked him?"
"I do,"
"So, you're not afraid to lose him?"
"I am. That's why I don't want to confess. Let's say we do date, if we break up, I won't be able to bear the fact that I will never talk to him. As friends, I can stay with him forever," 

"Loser,"
"Shut up," The bell rang and Rhea began packing her stuff. She and Neel walked down the stairs to her bike, suddenly he grabbed her hand and pulled her to the back of her bike,

"What the-What are you doing?!" She yelled.
"Shut the fuck up and sit back," He looked at her. He got on the bike and began paddling.
Rhea pressed her hands on his shoulders reluctantly. She remembered those blonde strands and peachy skin. It was monsoon. The air was filled with petrichor, dewdrops fell from the leaf cups overhead. There was a dull grey sky above them, preparing another shower. The roads were wet and shiny, a precursor to euonia. Spring is long gone, she remembered the time she first met him, under those Eucalyptus trees, in front of that sweetshop.

White Neem flowers were blooming, falling down like snowflakes, in front of his beautiful, white face, she looked at the puddles beneath her, another season with him had come, she wished he was there, with her, at that moment. She'd save him a seat.

Suddenly, Neel stopped the bicycle and Rhea got down. They were at a newly constructed highway. 
"Why are we here?" She asked him.
"I thought you'd like it here, given to your hopeless love, it'll clear your head,"
"You know, I hate you. You make me feel so bad about not confessing to him,"
"Shut up and relax,"

"...That's not, never mind," She ran into the fields surrounding the roads and Neel ran after her. She screamed as she ran.
"Why do I have to deal with this," Neel mumbled as he ran after her. But, soon he heard her laughing as she ran. They reached the end of the field and sat down on the ground.

"I almost died," Rhea was breathing heavily from all that running.
"Too bad that didn't kill you," Neel said as he sat beside her.
They looked at the road from where they came. Rhea sat quietly and so did Neel. 

"Neel,"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks, bro,"
"No problem, aunty,"
"TAKE THAT BACK!"
"No, kiss my ass,"

. . .

Ember's blue eyes looked into his phone screen as the raindrops poured outside his window. He sat in a small room with Maple and Loraine with a book in front of him and a teacher writing something on a whiteboard, "My heart knows what it wants," He read Nikki's message.
"What does it want?" He typed as he rested his face on his palm, bored from the class.

"You,"

His eyes widened and his face lost its pink colour.
"Please date me, Ember,"
She was still typing when he began typing, "I'm sorry. I don't like you,"
And she stopped typing for a bit,

"Is it because you like Arorhea?" She finally typed.
"It's got nothing to do with her,"

-To be continued

Ember Helberg
Can't I Touch Your Heart?