Subhadra speaks

From childhood my mother fed me with stories of the many hardships our family had to undergo before we finally attained relative bliss and peace. Even when we moved from Mathura to Dwaraka, these were the stories we girls listened to, to remind ourselves of the tears and blood and sweat that had gone into building the palace of fortitude and love in which I had been born, whose walls sheltered and nurtured me from birth and allowed me to bloom into youth in blissful happiness.

Being privy to the subtle one-upmanship between the wives of my brothers and uncles tempered any fanciful notions of love I might have had. Or so I thought, till I found him in the Raivata Mountain that year. In all the twenty one years of my life, no man had looked at me, the cherished daughter of the formidable Vasudeva, with such frank desire in his eyes. And how ironic that it was a yati who had the temerity to make eyes at the princess of Dwaraka! It excited me and angered me and made me conscious of myself in a way I had never been before. He wasn't particularly handsome to look at, but he stood out the way the moon stands out among the stars in the night sky.

"A prince in disguise," My companion surmised. "He must have heard about your upcoming swayamvara and come to see you!" Seeing the ill-disguised battle scars on his body, his lean, hard, frame and the gleam in his eye, which was anything but that of a man who had renunciated the world, I agreed with her. Having grown up around my larger than life stepbrothers, I had never seen or met a man who matched their aura, and their magnetism until then. The swayamvara about which I had been having mixed feelings before, now filled me with anticipation.

Perhaps he liked what he saw. Perhaps he didn't. Either ways, I didn't see him for the next three days. The festival was over, and I doubted he would dare present himself in my palace. I visited the Gauri temple on the fourth day. I was back to my old self, chatting with my maids, though I had to shout to be heard above the turbulent waves of the ocean. I prayed to the Goddess Gauri to keep me free from the spirit that had possessed me the past few days, the spirit of a giddy maid in the first flush of love.

I didn't know then that it was Kama to whom I should have addressed my prayers. For there he was, just outside the temple, his attire of the yati discarded, and with a chariot behind him, its' flag billowing in the wind. My guards had closed around him.

"Halt!" I cried, for fear he might harm them, for I could see he was no stranger to bloodshed. "Let me speak with him."

They unwillingly took a step back. I blushed to the roots of my hair as I realized he had come here, prepared to abduct me. And then just as easily, I realized what an insult it was to my clan, and to me, that he decided to behave thus.

"Is this how you win over a woman? Or did you decide I was not worth the effort?"

It was his turn to blush now. And then, it came to me. "My brother put you up to this." I whispered, for only my family knew of my schedule, and nobody would think of messing thus with the mighty Yadavas unless they had assurance that they could get away. He blushed again, but nodded. "I asked him for your hand in marriage..."

"Yet you didn't think to ask me."

"I couldn't, not before I had asked him first. He is my dearest friend..."

"Are you Arjuna, son of Pandu?"

He gave a single nod. Blood rushed to my face, and thoughts filled my head and drowned out what he was saying. Who hadn't heard of this prince's exploits? He was the undisputed hero of our land. Like every other girl in Bharatavarsha, I had had a crush on him. It didn't help that my brother spoke of him highly, with a singularly rare warmth. He also spoke in a similar vein of Draupadi, the heroine of our land. That dampened his attractiveness in my eyes, for who wanted a co-wife who was not only formidable enough on her own, but also had four more husbands to boot?

Yet here he stood before me, silhouetted against the thunderclouds that loomed in the sky. How could I not feel flattered?

My guard took a step forward. "My princess," He said, his voice crisp with impatience.

And in that instant, the Pandava prince's mask slipped. He was quick to regain his composure, but I had glimpsed his nervousness, and now realized he was as ill at ease as his horses fidgeting behind him.

"Will you obey my brother without question, even if his ideas don't agree with you?" My lips twitched, and before I could stop it, I began to laugh.

But he didn't. "I like you." He said simply. "It is my heartfelt desire to have you by my side, as my wife."

That put an end to my laughter. The right thing to do would be to ask him to present himself at the swayamvara.

"Very well." I said, blushing furiously. "You may proceed with the abduction. But don't harm my men!" I cried as he made a move.

He held out his hand, a small smile on his lips, that lightened the ardor that blazed in his eyes. "This way, princess." He said, and we were off.