Subhadra speaks

Illusions in the Night

"I thank my uncles for bringing me up with so much love and care. What my father couldn't do for me, you did. But I cannot take advantage of your kindness anymore. I believe my rightful place is by my father's side, to help him in whatever capacity I can. I trust you all would agree that this is my duty, and you wouldn't stop me from fulfilling my dharma."

Krishna's lips curved at these last words.

"He asked me yesterday where the Pandavas were seen last." Pradyumna said. "He must be headed there, to try and trace their whereabouts."

"But we haven't heard of them for over two years now!" I cradled my forehead in my hands, and thought of his unswerving loyalty that had propelled him on this foggy path, despite his evident anger and disappointment with his father and uncle the day before.

"There are many dangers he still isn't equipped to face, and enemies who would only be too happy to use him for their good." Balaram growled.

"But he's not a child anymore, and if we bring him forcefully back or make him bend to our will, he's only going to resent us for it, and worse, he might run away again." Krishna looked at me.

"I think we should send men to trace him and keep an eye on him, so we know he is not in any danger."

"For how long?" I asked him.

"That we shall see."

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Four nights later, after the last light in the palace had been turned off, I went down to the seashore. Abhimanyu seemed to have vanished without a trace. Our best men had been unable to trace him so far. I took a stray stick from among the reefs, and dragged my feet to where the waves lapped at the shore. A brazen breeze ruled the night, rustling up the trees' support  to drown the ocean's voice, agitating her waves to lash out at her visitors, and groping me with impunity. The moon in his full form, joined him, as he had on my last night with Arjuna, that two-faced night, who gifted me many bittersweet moments, and teased me with her constant threats to end too soon. I wondered if the years had really passed, or whether it was all a trick by the master illusionist that was time.

When I returned to my room, a dark form hovered by the window. I noticed his familiar, erect posture, the backward tilt of his head and the curly hair that flowed over his shoulders, and my heart stood still. I couldn't find my voice till he turned around and stepped out of the shadows, and the illusion was shattered.

"Mother!" Abhimanyu peered at me in the thin stream of moonlight. "Are you alright?"

I turned away from him, trying to stem my traitorous tears.

"I am truly sorry." He said in a tender voice I never knew he had, which to my dismay only brought on more tears. "Please don't cry."

"I will, if you keep quiet!" My shaky voice blunted the sharpness of my retort.

"Sorry."

"So," I asked after I had composed myself. "Why have you come back?" The fresh bruises he had acquired, and the awkward angle in which he held his left arm, dampened my anger and filled me with guilt instead.

"I haven't..." He trailed off when he saw my face darken. "I have news about them. From someone who has seen them!" His voice grew excited. "I want you to come with me, so you can meet him. Despite my insistence, he won't come here."

"Why?"

"He is a rakshasa."

"Brother Bhimasena's son?" I suddenly remembered the Pandavas' encounter with Hidimbi many years ago, that Arjuna had recounted to me once.

"You knew about him? You never once mentioned him to me!"

"I am sorry." I always wondered why no one spoke about Hidimbi in Indraprastha, though she was the first daughter-in-law of the family, and now, I too, was guilty of the same.

"Where and how did you meet him?"

"I unknowingly entered a vana which belonged to him, and he challenged me to a duel. We fought till his mother, my aunt, addressed him as Bhimasena's son. That brought us to a halt. When I told them who I was, they took me to their home in Hidimbavana. They were very good to me."

"Is their house shielded by illusions?" I asked, and he nodded. That explained why we had been unable to trace him.

"Where and how did he meet them?"

"That he shall tell you himself. He flew me to the outskirts of the city, but wouldn't come inside. He awaits us there. Please, let us go."

I hastily scribbled a note to my brothers that I would be back by morning and followed him into the night.

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He towered above both of us, with a perfectly round, bald head, tattoos etched over his torso, and a beautiful crown arched over his forehead. A spirited fire, akin to the one on the ground, glowed in his eyes. But what held us, both me and Abhimanyu, spellbound was the sight of our king and queen, on his shoulders, flying in the air over snow covered hills, towards Badarikashrama.

"They look nothing like what I remember of them." Abhimanyu said, as Ghatothkach's illusions changed to show his other uncles, and Sage Dhaumya.

"No, they don't." I whispered, for, however hard I searched, I could find no trace of the warrior princes I once knew. In attire, they were indistinguishable from rishis, but their eyes held the untamed and defiant gleam of the horse that has adapted to the wilds.

"I was taken aback to see my father this way too. But let me tell you, Aunty, there used to be a tame, soft edge to my father's personality, that has now all but disappeared. I can see how ruthless he will be with his enemies henceforth." His face glowed with pride as he said it, and confidence, the same confidence that I saw in my son, that could be easily mistaken for arrogance. "Uncle Arjuna is in Amravati. He is supposed to join them soon."

I was initially too stunned to respond.

"Of course." I said when I recovered. Abhimanyu heard the wry note in my voice and looked at me, the bittersweet smile on his face mirroring my own. As the illusions faded away, and the golden light of the fire bathed us once more, he said,  "Let us join them in Badarikashrama. It will not be an easy journey, but I will take care of you."

"As shall I, for as long as I accompany you." Ghatothkach added.

"Will you?" I bit my lip to hide a smile, and shook my head. Carefully composing my thoughts, I said, "There's only a few months left for the thirteenth year, in which they must conceal their identity. The Kurus will be watching them like hawks. Let's not make it easier for them by leading them to their targets."

Of course, he didn't agree. It took an hour of arguments before he gave in, and another exhausting hour before we both prevailed upon Ghatothkach, and finally returned home with our honored guest.

P.S.: My inspiration for this chapter comes from a delightful folktale. In that story, Abhimanyu and Balarama's daughter Vatsala are in love, but Balarama promises her to Duryodhana's son instead. Subhadra is saddened by her brother's attitude towards her husband, at a time when he faces a downward spiral in his fortune. Abhimanyu sets out with her to find and rejoin his father, and on the way they meet Ghatothkacha and Hidimbi, who are initially hostile towards them. But once the misunderstandings are cleared up, Ghatothkacha helps Abhimanyu reunite with Vatsala. Much to the Kauravas' wrath, their wedding party has to return home empty-handed. Ghatothkacha shines as the hero of this story. In another version, Arjuna is against this match, because it is forbidden among the Kurus to marry their cousins. He marries Abhimanyu to Uttara instead. I have alluded to this folktale, and married it with my own imagination. Many thanks for stopping by, and if you liked this, please vote!