Subhadra speaks

Tidings

My first week at Indraprastha was uneventful. My family were due to arrive in ten days, and Draupadi put me in charge of preparing for their visit. Kunti monopolized me a few afternoons, and I alternately answered her eager questions about Dwaraka, my family, and most importantly Krishna, and listened to her accounts of the Pandavas' past most of which I had already heard from Arjuna.

"Have you been avoiding me these past few days?" Arjuna asked, as I waited on the steps of the palace entrance for our guests from Dwaraka.

I linked my arm with his, and squinted up at him with a smile. "I could accuse you of the same." I had seen little of him since our arrival, except for the few times when I would wake up in the long hours of the night, and find his arms around me. But when I woke again in the morning, he would be gone.

"I try to meet you once I am relieved of my duties, only to be told that you are asleep."

I shrugged. "I tire early these days."

"Due to your evening jaunts to the city with your new sister?"

"She only accompanied me the first time to show me around. She is as busy as you are. You should know." I colored as I realized she was but a few feet from us, and pulled my hand away in haste. "This is your year with her."

"That year has not begun yet." His tone was much gentler than before. The sound of conch-shells announcing the arrival of our guests put an end to further conversation.

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The next day, I leaned against the railing of my balcony, though in my mind, I was back in Dwaraka, one sunny afternoon a year ago.

I entered Rukmini's room to find several women gathered there.

"While cleaning your room, the maids stumbled upon a very secret hiding place quite by accident, and found this." Rukmini held out a jewelry box to me, a teasing smile on her lips.

"The design on the box is exquisite." Another intoned with a twinkle in her eye.

"Perhaps it is, ahem, a secret gift?"

"From a secret admirer?"

"Could that be Balarama's pupil, the prince from Hastinapur, who throws sidelong glances at you every time you pass by?"

"Can we see what is in it?"

"No, you can't." I said, laughing. "Krishna gave it to me for safekeeping. This has the same design as my own jewelry box, and it opens with the same key. But I am not supposed to open it."

"Why ever not?" Mitravinda piped up, a new note in her voice. To my dismay, I realized quite belatedly, that all of Krishna's wives were in the room, and now, they had all surrounded me.

They prevailed over me, of course. How long could I hold fort against six strong willed wives, determined to pry open their husband's secret? But to our collective disappointment, when I opened the box, it was empty.

"I spied a whiff of air, as though something escaped." Kalindi said, but none of us took her seriously. I swore them all to silence and returned the box to its' place.

I had forgotten the incident until three days ago. Krishna had lent his chariot to escort Arjuna and me from Pushkara to Indraprastha. My maid told me that the charioteer Daruka had espied the box, and started as though he had seen a ghost. On being pressed, he had told her, "I mistook this box for another, that looks exactly like this, but belongs to my master. I believe the lord of Dwaraka has transformed an asura into an insect and imprisoned him in that box. If somebody opens the box, the spirit of the asura would escape into them, and be born as their child a year later."

At a knock, I went to my door but it was Arjuna who stood outside.

"Krishna has been detained, but will meet you soon." He crowded me inside the room which I thought was rather ill-mannered of him. "Why didn't you come with us?" 

"I was tired, I wanted to..."

"Sleep?" The mellow light of the early evening sun cast his eyes in a golden hue but failed to  mask the  dark flame that simmered and flashed every now and then. "How long do you plan to use this excuse?"

"Perhaps Gudakesha can teach me to conquer sleep." I said, beginning to understand. "I so miss our archery lessons. I promise I will be a better student this time."

"Will you quit hiding behind your playfulness, and allow me to explain?"

"There is no need to. I chose you knowing fully well what my position in your life would be. It shouldn't, and it doesn't make a difference to me."

He stared at me. "You know nothing, Subhadra." His face and voice were full of a raw emotion that made me feel cherished beyond measure. "You know nothing."

"I do know," I slipped my hand in his, my voice soft. "that I am carrying a child."

He froze at first, and then the dark flush on his face faded away slowly, to be replaced with a smile of delight. "You give me everything I want." He murmured, and kissed me. "Was this why you called Krishna here?" He asked as his long fingers brushed my face, and undid my hair. "So you could tell him?"

I heard his unvoiced question. Had I chosen to tell Krishna first?

Of course I hadn't. But how could I pass up this opportunity to tease him, especially after I detected that note of jealousy beneath his carefully nonchalant voice? "Does it matter?"

"No." He took me to bed and proceeded to tell me, albeit in a different manner, how much it did.