Behind the Scenes

Chapter 21

HARRY

Putting the car in park, I turned off the engine, silencing the gentle hum. Immediately, the sound of the rain was all I could hear, pattering against the roof, streaking across the windshield. I undid my seatbelt, but made no movement to actually get out of the car. Instead, I stayed in my seat, bringing my hands over my face to rub it roughly, before letting my eyes fall to the building in front of me.

For the first time in my life, I felt nervous. It was a stupid feeling, and one I was definitely not a fan of. Especially after years of taking the stage in front of thousands of screaming fans, of being in front of a camera and having almost every aspect of my life played out in the public eye, the entire concept of nervousness or apprehension was fucking stupid.

The fact it was being caused by a tiny wisp of a girl with brown hair and a temper to rival Lucifer, only made it worse.

I was expected to be in hair and makeup in ten minutes, but couldn't seem to bring myself to get out of the damn car. Because all I could think about was seeing Kate.

I had thought about texting her that morning. I had even written several messages, ranging from 'how are you feeling?' to 'drink lots of water', and even 'nice bra', but each time my finger jabbed angrily at the screen, erasing whatever asinine connection I attempted. Nothing I wrote seemed right. Nothing I thought about last night made the knot in my stomach ease.

I had done the right thing, leaving as I had. Even though every male part of me was screaming to stay, to claim her now that she had finally yielded to me, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. For the first time in my life, I wanted more than just a drunken night with a willing, lovely girl. Maybe because for the first time, that willing girl wasn't just any girl.

Groaning loudly, I punched the steering wheel before stepping out of the car and into the rain. I trudged despondently towards hair and makeup, my eyes downcast, my mood matching the weather, until I finally escaped the downpour into the warmth of the trailer.

For the next hour, I listened as the girls chattered on about their usual stuff. Family, scene plans for the day, how they spent their night. Usually, I would take part in the banter, teasing and laughing with them like old friends. But today, I was too wrapped up in my own thoughts and bullshit to even listen to what they were saying.

I needed to see Kate. I had no idea how much of last night she remembered, if anything, and had little doubt that was where most of my anxiety was coming from. Did she remember being with me? Did she remember our kiss? The feeling of my hands on her skin, her lips on mine? The memories floated in my head like a vivid, intoxicating dream, leaving me squirming in my chair as my jeans grew increasingly constricting. Even in my anxiety ridden state, she still affected me.

By the time I was released from the trailer, I was on a mission to find her. I needed to explain, to make her understand why I left. I hoped, maybe foolishly, that in the pale light of day and sober eyes, she could see that I didn't leave to reject her.

I left because I had feelings for her.

Stepping onto set, it was already the usual bustle of hectic shouting, bodies and redesign. Every day was the same thing, people moving tables, books, décor; changing lighting, cameras, settings. Always moving, like a living being, all within the privacy of a soundstage.

I checked the usual places I had learned she escaped to when feeling on edge. Her writing room, the cafeteria, her little nook at the far end of the stage, all empty. I kept up my search, growing more desperate to talk to her before I was due to film my first scene, until finally I found her.

Standing with her back to me, she was talking with Hunter, who was looking down to her with a frown. I couldn't hear their conversation, but immediately hated the fact he was with her. Was she confiding in him? Did he know what happened between us? Was he trying to convince her that I was an asshole, that I rejected her out of some stupid game?