Chapter 23

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"You're getting weaker," Natasha comments as she helps me up.

"I can... tell," I pant out.

"Is it cuz of that flower thing? I thought the medicine they gave you was supposed to help you get over it," She asks. No Natasha, it just slows down my death....

"I probably just need to practice more," I tell her and take a drink from my water bottle.

"Probably. I'm gonna take a shower, I don't want to stink during dinner," She says. I nod and take another drink, drifting into my thoughts as she walks away.

I was honestly confused. How come the fact that I was dying didn't faze me as much as Loki not returning what I felt? Why couldn't I just let go of these emotions?

As much as I pretended to hate him, I still missed him....and that made me feel so damn pathetic.

"You good?" Someone asks, making me jump a little and break away from my train of thought.

"Uh huh, why?" I ask as I turn around to meet Steve.

"Seem to be deep in thought," he says with a shrug.

"Are you still mad at me?" I ask him with a sigh.

"Yes," he replies.

"Then why are you talking to me?" I question.

"Because I can," he responds.

"Can you restate why you're mad at me?" I ask him.

"Because you're blind," he tells me.

"I know," I say with a nod.

"He's a jerk, a pathetic jerk and you're too blind to see that," he says.

"I know he is. He's a fucking bitch. Yet I, for some reason, still love him," I tell him.

"(Y/n) that's toxic. You know love him so much that you'll let him drag you to Hell if it meant you could hold his hand while he did," Steve says, trying to get me to come to my senses.

"I would, honestly," I mumble. Steve lets out a large sigh and quickly walks over to me, gripping my arms.

"Why? Why do you still love him? Loki hates you, he wants nothing to do with you and would never choose you," He tells me. I look up to meet his concerned, baby blue eyes.

"I know I always choose him....but maybe one day he'll choose me back," I say hopefully.

"He won't," Steve immediately replies, "if he was you wouldn't be in this state. If he loved you at any moment he wouldn't let you feel what you feel right now."

"You should have seen him when he kidnapped me. The way he looked at me was different. Not a fatherly look like Coulson, but one of possible love. That look gives ,e the slightest bit of hope that I'll be ok," I explain to him.

"That look isn't there now. People change. Your tattoo is on your right hand instead of your left (y/n), your relationship wasn't supposed to work from the start. You also knew that you weren't supposed to get emotionally near him from the start. So just go back to those days. Move on....please," he begs. I look at him with a smile.

"Why didn't Fate make you my soulmate.....everything would've been so much better," I mumble sadly. Steve doesn't respond, thus creating a wall of silence between us.

"Y'all gonna kiss or what?" I hear Tony ask from the door. We jump apart and glare at Tony.

"What the fuck do you want?" I grumble.

"Bitch I left my comfy chair so I could personally invite you to eat dinner in a while," Tony snaps back.

"I'll be there," Steve says and walks out, giving me a glance before he left.

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