twenty-four

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The next few days passed in a blur. There was nothing for me to do except read Shadow and Bone and bury myself in my thoughts. Brooklyn was still going through a sickening withdrawal and insisted he didn't want me to see him like that, even though I had spent the better half of the other day sitting with him in the bathroom while he threw up nothing but Gatorade and crackers.

After my fury of emotions had returned to normal and reality had set in, I realized dealing with Brooklyn's addiction might have been harder than I realized. I had to ask myself the hard questions, like how much slack do I give him, and how many more times was I willing to be screwed up by this. I wasn't prepared to live in this morally gray space I had created. I had to find a balance between being overbearing and being too trustworthy.

I was shaken from my thoughts as Nikki burst into my room, nearly tripping over a stray shoe in the middle of the floor.

"Get up," she shook me. "You've got a visitor."

"What?" I jumped out of bed and pulled on the first t-shirt and pair of yoga pants I could find off of The Chair. I strode across the hall to Nikki's room, pressing myself against the window that overlooked the front yard.

My eyes widened when I saw Brooklyn leaning on the hood of the car in his usual Yankee hat and Nike shorts. I caught a glimpse of a small bundle of colorful flowers in his hands.

"I told him he had to wait outside." Nikki said tersely.

I scoffed. "Why would you do that?"

"Because he's up to something," Nikki snapped as she pointed her finger at the window. She sighed and put her hand to her forehead. "Whatever this bullshit is with him, you need to sort it out before it gets out of control."

Nikki huffed and sauntered out of the room. I looked back down at Brooklyn, who fidgeted with his hat and paced in front of his car. I took a deep breath and made my way downstairs.

"Good morning," Brooklyn called as I emerged from the house. I squinted in the bright light of the sun as I looked up at him. I felt a weird wave of deja vu wash over me - so much had changed since the day he first showed up at my house, but the familiar sight of him standing in the sun smiling down at me made all of the bad evaporate.

"Morning," I replied. Brooklyn tensed up when I walked closer and took a deep breath. "Everything okay?" I asked.

"I uh...don't think Nikki likes me," Brooklyn said, itching the back of his neck.

"She's just being defensive. It's kind of her job," I responded as I twirled a lock of hair around my finger. I looked down at his hands, calm and steady holding a small bundle of mismatched flowers in an array of pinks and purples and oranges.

"Are those for me?" I asked, pointing at them.

"Oh, yeah." He handed them to me. "I'm sorry, they kind of suck."

I ran my hands across the soft petals of the flowers. There was one rose, an orchid, a few carnations, and an azalea, tied at the stems by a thin string. Like outcasts from a garden that didn't match their own kind, but instead complimented each other's differences. Just like we did.

"No, these are beautiful, thank you," I said with a smile. "But what are they for?"

"Oh well, uh," Brooklyn scratched the back of his head. "Just for taking care of me the other night. I'm still kind of ashamed you had to see me like that. I know I owe you a lot, but flowers could be a start."

I looked back up at him, and he smiled at me the way he always did - calm and bright and so assured of himself. It reminded me why I was doing this - for that Brooklyn. That Brooklyn was worth it.

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