INTEGATES (Original Story)

CHAPTER 7 - OUTBURST

It's been four weeks since I started with my body conditioning. Like what the director said, my first two weeks had been all physical exercises. It went from basic to medium level, mostly cardio workouts and defensive strategies. The time per day also increased from 3-4 hours to 6-7 hours, which I was totally fine with because I already felt my body strength develop.

During the third week, the training went differently. I spent half of every day on mental exercises. It started with basic puzzles, analogies, and number patterns. They weren't kidding about me excelling more on anything related to intellectual aspects because I completed all the tests which everyone was actually given a month to master. Deciding that it wasn't challenging enough, they skipped me to the trickiest part -- the emotional training.

They didn't mention anything about what I should expect. I didn't even know what result they need from it. Until the first day of that week, a sack over my head and lack of air woke me up. I tried to fight the strong arm wrapped around my neck and the other that was locking my own arms. The person pulled me somewhere I had no idea of. My screams remained unheard even after the person released me and ran away. When I removed the item covering my head, I saw pure darkness. There was nothing but silence. The air was too thick. Obviously, fear took over my chest, not realizing that it was part of my test until lights went on and Bartlet and Lyra entered the room I was in. I should have known that they would keep playing tricks on me. My body being petrified and locked up for almost an hour took half of that day to recover.

Knowing better than to traumatize me again, they only assigned me written activities the next day. They gave me short stories and poems to read, and songs to listen to, which I had to write down how they all made me feel. I thought it was weird at first, until I ended with red and puffy eyes due to crying.

Third day was even more draining and traumatizing. I had to watch videos of several people who were suffering. Some were from illness, some from suicide because of depression and even being bullied, and others were from murder and rape. It was the worst time I had to go through. I even needed someone to stay with me that night because I couldn't sleep as the images still kept popping inside my head. Frey offered, which I honestly didn't mind.

They all knew I was bond to get sucked into an emotional trauma, so they let me take a break the next day. I didn't leave my room because I had no strength to. Frey insisted on staying with a promise that he wouldn't do or say anything that could stress me out more. Then I joked that he wasn't being true to his words when he sang songs that used to be my favorites and then impersonated cartoon characters from shows that we used to watch. Yet I was grateful for his effort of making me laugh and relax. He had been nothing but caring ever since he got back to the NCIO, and he was patient with me, which I really appreciated.

The fifth day of that week was less complicated. They put me in a small room with Lyra. It started with her, showing two pictures simultaneously and I had to choose what felt right. I wasn't allowed to think more than a second, or better yet, I wasn't allowed to think at all. Then it went from deciding on situations. Again, practicality and being realistic weren't permitted. Judging from the sympathetic look on the doctor's face when we were done, I knew the result wasn't good, and I already expected it.

Yesterday, which was the sixth day of emotional torture, I had an outburst. I should've known that things would only get worse. When I was sent to the training grounds, the director and four other heads were there. Yet no newbies present like the usual set-up. Before I could even ask what I needed to do, they started throwing insults at me. They walked in circle around me, demeaning me one by one. I knew it was the test, but their words were extremely hurtful that it was hard not to be affected. Especially when they keep repeating my mistakes since the start of training which made me not worthy.